Something's wrong with Olivia
by livsgirl
Summary: The trial is ending and Olivia has made some decisions.  FINAL CHAPTER
1. Chapter 1

This story is set about three years after the Beltway Rapist. I own nobody but my own characters.

Odafin Tutola, "fin" as everyone called him, walked in quietly to the special victims unit squad room. He looked up and saw detective Olivia Benson sitting at her desk. From what he could tell she was still wearing the same outfit from yesterday and by the shaking of her shoulders she was crying. That thought made him stop in his tracks. Olivia never cried. Even when her mother died she didn't cry. He slowly walked up to her not wanting to surprise her or scare her.

"Baby girl is everything ok." He asked placing his hand on her shoulder.

Olivia Benson turned around and faced fin. "I…uhh.I..Yeah I'm ok." Damn it how long had he been there she thought to herself. How much had he seen.

"Ok, If you need to talk you know I'm here for you right? Nobody has to know anything?" He said as he squeezed her shoulder before turning to go to his desk.

"Thank you, Fin." Olivia said as she stood up from her desk. "I'm gonna run and get ready before anyone else comes in."

Fin nodded in response as he picked up a cold case he had been working on. What was going on he wondered to himself. He hadn't seen Liv like this since she started dating and married Mary Blackwood, a detective out of the 2-7. She had seemed to be so happy until the last two weeks. That was when everything changed.

Olivia had started staying at the station house sleeping in the "crib" even when a case didn't require it. There had been a couple of times that he was pretty sure she hadn't left at all, even for food. She had thrown herself full force into cases like she use to when she avoided going home to an empty house.

Fin looked up as Liv walked back in the room. My god he suddenly realized she had lost some weight. He jumped up from his chair and grabbed his jacket "come baby girl. We are going to go and get some breakfast. I think it's time we talked."

"No Fin I'm good." Olivia stated avoiding his eyes.

"Fine or not you're coming with me." He growled as he grabbed her by the arm and literally drugged her from the squad room.

Olivia jerked from his grasp outside the door. "Fin I'm fine. Now leave me alone."

"Look you're coming with me whether you like it or not. You can file a complaint later."

Olivia knew by that tone that there was nothing she could do to stop him. It would be better if she just went with him. It may be good to talk to someone about what was bothering her. She just wasn't sure if Fin was the one to talk to. Hell it had to be better than talking to Elliot or Munch that was for sure. "Fine lets just go tot the café around the corner. O.k."

"That's fine."


	2. Chapter 2

Fin opened the door and ushered Olivia in from the cold. He leaned down and whispered in her ear "do you see a place to sit?" The café seemed to be unusually busy for this time of morning.

"Lets just get it to go. I'm not real hungry Fin." Liv said as she walked toward the to go counter.

At that moment Fin saw a couple standing from a booth in the back of the café. He motioned to the waitress to hold the seats. She nodded in understanding. He gently placed his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "We are eating here so we can talk. That waitress is clearing a booth now for us."

"NO Fin. I just want coffee and leave."

Fin looked her over from head to toe. Her pants hung loosely on her hips and her shirt looked like it was about two sizes to big. He shook his head at her and pushed her through the crowd. "We are staying here and you are eating. " He held his hand up when he saw that she was about to protest. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Last night"

"I meant real food liv. Not something you get from the vending machine in the hall."

"I haven't been that hungry Fin. I've been real busy."

Fin raised his eyebrows at her. "Been real busy? Olivia Benson-Blackwood we haven't had a case in almost a week. Now I know we have enough cold cases that none of us would never leave the precinct. Every woman and child who is sexual assaulted deserves justice. But you know as well as I do that it will eat you alive if you throw yourself into it as you have. There is something going on…." Fin sat back as the waitress showed up to bring their silverware and take their drink orders.

"What can I get you guys to drink?"

"Coffee" They both answered at the same time. The waitress nodded and quickly left. Fin leaned forward and took her hands in his. "Listen whatever is going on you can tell me. I won't blow up at you, get mad at Mary, or pass any judgments. So open up. You know sometimes it helps to get things off your chest."

Tears sprang into Liv's eyes. She knew if she told him he would get pissed. Not as pissed as Elliot would that's for sure. "I can't tell you " she whispered.

"Why"

"Because you would get mad and" She couldn't hold it in anymore. There for the first time in 15 years she began to cry in front of a co-worker

Fin quickly got out of his seat and scooted in next to Olivia and held her as she cried on his shoulder. When he knew she had regained some composure he lifted her chin so that he could look her eye to eye. "I promise you I will not get mad. Liv I need you to tell me. There's no way I can help you if I don't know what's wrong"

"If Elliot found out" she began to say but was cut off by the waitress arriving with their coffee. She glanced between the two detectives. "Let me know when your ready to order." she said as she left the table as fast as she could. She knew she was interrupting and didn't want to stay to long. Neither acknowledge her.

"What about Elliot?"

"He will be so mad and do something really stupid."

"It's simple then. Elliot will not know or be told. There problem solved."

Olivia looked into Fin's eyes and knew he was telling the truth but what about him. What would he do. "And You?"

"Consider this a confessional booth. Everything said here stays here. And to answer your question unless she hit you then no I WILL NOT get mad. I promise you."

Olivia simply nodded taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing she thought to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

As Olivia was about to began the waitress reappeared to take their orders. Liv grabbed the menu and looked over it quickly. She didn't want to eat but she had never seen Fin this determined to make her do something. She figured he would order for her and then force feed her if she didn't. "I'll have two scrambled eggs with cheese and an order of hash browns, please" She ordered as she handed the menu to the waitress looking at Fin. He had a little smile on his face knowing he won this battle. "I'll have the same too." he said as he handed the menu over.

The waitress left with their orders and Fin leaned forward. "So what's going on Liv."

She looked away as she spoke. She knew she wouldn't be able to stand to see the pity in his eyes when she spoke the words. "Mary is cheating on me. With who I don't know? For how long? Again clueless. I have come to figure out everything she ever told me was a lie. I've been staying at the station until I can find an apartment. She used to call me constantly but now she doesn't bother. How could I have been so stupid Fin?"

"Liv look at me"

She slowly turned her head to face him. She didn't want his pity but she knew she was about to. Instead she saw a smile on his face and he was laughing. Laughing your laughing at me was the thought that went threw her head as she grabbed her coat and was sliding out of the booth to leave. Fin placed his hands on her arms to stop her. "Liv don't. I'm sorry I laughed but there's something you need to know. You were never stupid. Meeting, dating, marrying Mary was the best thing you ever did. Sit eat and I'll explain everything. Ok"

Olivia looked Fin in the eyes "I'm so glad my problems are a sense of humor to you. My guess is you guys had a bet running and you just won what hundred dollars or two hundred dollars?"

"No I didn't. Munch and Elliot did. So far Elliot has lost fifty dollars and Munch a hundred. I have never joined in. Not because I don't like a good wager but because I know Mary a lot more than anyone else did. Quite frankly I don't like losing money."

Olivia crossed her arms in front of her "Then please tell me what you find so damn amusing about my marriage falling apart?" The anger showing in her face.

"It's simple. It's not baby girl. Mary loves you and you love her. I am willing to bet my new car that Mary is not nor has she ever cheated on you. That is how sure I am."

Liv was taken back. The only thing Fin loved more than his car was his son. For him to bet to lose it had to mean only one thing. He knew what was going on or she had totally blew something minor way out of proportion. She herself was willing to wager on the later. "Oh god what have I done" she said to her self.

"Nothing drastic I promise" Fin answered pulling her out of her thoughts. "Breakfast is here. So lets eat and I'll explain everything to you. Deal"

Olivia nodded in agreement as she reached for her fork. She hadn't realized till that moment how hungry she was.


	4. Chapter 4

Fin motioned for the waitress to come over to the table. "Yes sir?"

"Can we get a refill on coffee please?"

"Yes, right away." The waitress answered as she was clearing their table of dishes. The waitress walked away and Olivia leaned forward. " Ok Fin. Tell me everything you know. Don't hold back."

"I have known Mary since she worked for narcotics. I helped her set up meetings with my informants. One thing I learned about Mary was that when she's with someone that's it. She is not the cheating kind."

"You never acted like you knew her when she was transferred over to help with the Beltway case."

"I know. She had a look in her eye. I could tell she didn't want anyone to know. Why I didn't know so I just acted like a total stranger. It was when both of you came back with the box of evidence and witness statements I knew."

"How?"

"The way she looked at you when you walked to your desk. The same way she looks at you now. Three years after saying I do."

"Things changes Fin. People changes."

"You're right. But Mary loves you as much as the day she married you if not more. Mary is not nor has she ever been the type to cheat."

"Then why does she have a woman on the side Fin. AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE?"

"LIV, your not listening. When Mary is with you that's it. There is no one else. I have gone into a bar with her and women just flock to her. She can easily walk away with ten numbers but do you know what she does."

"Obliviously keeps them"

"No she stands shakes their hands and tells them thank you. She has a beautiful wife at home that she loves. She appreciates the offer but there is no one or anything to ruin what she has. She hands the number back and rejoins the group."

"HA HA HA. She only does that because you are there."

"Liv she did the same with her first wife, Sara. She didn't have to with me then. Hell I use to ask her to keep the numbers so I could use them. Girl could get more play than me. No. Simply by taking them I am cheating and that's not me Odafin. That's what she would always say."

"Does she ever look at other women when she meet you guys for drinks?"

"Hell no. Hell Liv on her bachalor party we got her a stripper and paid extra for extra. You know what I mean."

"You what? You wanted her to sleep with another woman the night before marrying me. Thanks Fin."

"No Liv It's tradition. We all agreed that if she did so be it. Hell 90 percent of guys and women do."

"So did she share how good she was?"

"No. She never left the living room. Told us to help our selves. She had no need or desire to she was waiting for you tomorrow night. We laughed. The woman asked if she had a brother like her she was tired of players."

"She didn't sleep with her.?"

"No because that's the way she is Liv. She will leave you first before she would ever do that. Did you tell her to stop calling?"

"Yes. Why?"

"That's why shes not calling you anymore. Because you told her to. Liv she will go out of her way to honor your wishes. What else made you think she was cheating?"

" She would come home late. She always smelled like she had a different perfume on. There was times the phone would ring and she would jump to answer it and take it in the other room.. One time I heard her say you can't call me here, My wife may answer."

"Did you ever ask her about it?"

"Why so she can lie to my face or so she can tell me she no longer wants me?"

"No so she could answer questions."

"The only question I had was how long will you give me to get my stuff out. And I couldn't bring myself to ask her that. So NO."

"Liv talk to her. Call her go surprise her at work. Something. Trust me on this. It is not what you think ok."

"I tried to call her the other day and see if I could come by to get my stuff."

"And?"

"She said no need. She would leave. Leave. I guess she found a place to stay with her girlfriend"

"Oh god. She's gonna kill me."

"What? What do You KNOW?"

"Go to Casey's. That's where she staying. And NO THEY ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER.. She left so you could have the house. She didn't want you to worry about trying to find a place to stay. She also is keeping everything up so you won't have to worry about it."

"You are having contact with her?"

"She is using me to make sure you are ok. That you have everything you need. I'm not here because she asked me to do this. I'm here because I'm tired of seeing two people who love each other not talking and working things out."

"Great even my co-workers are working for her."

"To make sure your ok and have everything you need. That's all. Listen we all love you and want you to be happy. If that means I have to sneak around to check on you then I will. But I'm serious go to Casey's. Talk to her. Then decide ok"

Olivia looked at him with tears in her eyes. "And if she no longer wants me what then?"

"Trust me she wants you. Go talk to her." Fin said as he paid the bill. "Now lets get out of here before we are late."

"Fin tell the captain I have to go take care of something. I'll be in late."

"I'll do one better. Take the day off I will cover for you."

Olivia smiled at him "Thank you" as she turned to leave the café.


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia walked into Mercy hospital and walked up to the check in desk. "Ma'am I'm detective Benson-Blackwood I need to speak to Dr. Casey Novak asap, please."

The nurse nodded and reached for the phone to page Casey. While waiting for Casey Olivia looked around the waiting room and her mind went back to the day she saw Casey and Mary together…..

_My breath caught in my throat when I saw them. There she was standing in the middle of the waiting room with her arms around another woman. The look on her face said it all. She was happy. There was a small smile on her face. One I had never seen before. One I had never put there, that was for sure. All I wanted to do was walk up to them and smack them both. I couldn't first because I was there on business and the second was because no one knew about us. That was my fault. I felt like screaming and couldn't. Instead I walked as quickly as I could to the car before the tears started to fall. I had to get out of there before everyone knew. How the hell could she do this._

"Liv" Casey said as she walked out of the double doors. "Olivia, what's wrong?" She said again trying to get her attention.

With the sound of her name Olivia came back to the present. "You bitch" was all she said before she slapped Casey across the face. "How could you? We became friends. You have stayed at our house, gone to dinner with us. Hell you even went on vacation with us last summer with your girlfriend. Now I see that was all a front. The whole time you were sleeping with my wife, **MY WIFE**. You were the maid of honor at my wedding. And this is how you repay me."

"Liv come with me lets talk about this." Casey said as she put her hand under her elbow to guide her to a place more private to talk.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. Why so you can rub it in my face on how much of a fool I've been. Believing that Mary felt nothing for you and you guys were just friends." Olivia screamed as her as she jerked her arm away.

"NO, so we can talk without an audience. Look around everyone is staring at us, Olivia."

Olivia looked around and noticed they had become the center of attention and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Fine lead the way"

"Thank you. This way." Casey said as she swiped her badge leading them to an employee only entrance. Olivia followed Casey down a long hallway that seemed to be growing with every step. She almost ran into her when Casey stopped to unlock an office door.

Casey stepped in the office and turned the lights on. She motioned for Olivia to have a seat as she walked around the desk.

Olivia shook her head "No thanks. I'll stand. I won't be here to long anyways."

"Fine suit yourself. Now what the hell was all that in the waiting room?"

"Oh you are going to act like you don't know. Please Casey you are a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them. Home wrecker yes. Stupid, no."

"I'm not a home wrecker either. So please feel free to tell me why I am all of a sudden. There is nothing between me and Mary and there hasn't been for close to nine years. She met you and that ended us. There was and is still no hard feelings. So what the hell is going on?"

"Why is everyone acting so stupid around me lately. Please Like I don't know it was you that Mary was seeing behind my back. You're the one that was calling and she was talking to in private. It was your perfume she was coming home smelling like after having to work over. I just… I just" Olivia couldn't hold it anymore and for the second time that day she broke down and started crying.

Casey stood up and walked around the desk and put her arms around her. "Olivia it will be ok I promise. I think you have misunderstood everything you have seen and heard. Mary is not cheating on you nor has she ever cheated on you. I am definitely not sleeping with her. I maybe a lot of things but a home wrecker isn't one of them."

"Then why did she go to you when she could have went to Fin? Tell me that!"

"I don't know why she turned to me. That is something you have to ask her. Go talk to her. Quit ignoring her and get the answers you want."

"I have tried talking to her, but she keeps lying to me."

"How do you know she's lying to you?"

"For the love of everything Casey, I'm a detective I know when people are lying. She was obliviously lying to me."

Casey laughed "I think you might be a little rusty then. Because Mary has never lied to you and she's the type who never will."

"So my marriage falling apart is funny to you to. Glad I could provide the amusement." Olivia said as she pushed Casey away.

"It's not amusement or funny to me" Casey said grabbing her purse and digging around in it "Here are the keys to my apartment. Mary should be there. Go and talk to her."

"NO"

Casey shoved the keys in her jacket pocket "yes because I'm sick and tired of seeing the two people who I care about the most fight and ignore each other over a misunderstanding. Face it you love her and trust me Mary loves you. Now get the hell out of my office and over to my apartment to work things out, between you two. I don't want to see or hear from either one of you until everything is sorted out. I am no longer the go between and I am calling Fin to stop him from being the go between. As long as the two of us is doing that you two will never sit and talk. I have had enough go and talk to her." Casey ordered as she shoved Olivia out the office.


	6. Chapter 6

This is going to be a short chapter

* * *

Casey closed the office door and leaned against. Please Mary forgive me. I know you didn't want us to interfere but enough is enough. She walked over to her desk and punched in a number that she now knows by heart.

"Tutola" Fin answered his phone not looking at the caller ID.

"Fin its Casey. Liv was just here."

"She went to you? I sent her to your apartment not you."

"Well she's determined to prove that Mary is cheating. But can't prove it if it's not happening right"

"Yeah. Did she yell at you?"

"Oh yeah and smacked me too. But moving on. The reason I'm calling is because I told her we are done being the go between. From here on out if they need something from each other then they talk to each other."

"Why did you do that. You know the two of them are stubborn and will do everything possible not to talk to each other."

"Exactly. That's why I did it. Listen as long as we keep this up, There is no reason to even try to communicate. So two people who love each other and is separated over a misunderstanding will turn into one nasty divorce if we don't. Do you understand?

"yeah I got it. I just don't like it."

"Either we do this or we watch them divorce your choice."

"This. I got run call me if you hear anything ok"

"I will" Casey hung the phone up and leaned back in her chair. She pinched the bridge of her nose. She could already feel the migraine coming. Maybe if she just sat there for a few minutes everything would pass. Instead when she closed her eyes she was brought back to the day Mary showed up on her door step.

"_I'm coming" I yelled at whoever was beating my door. It was starting to sound like they were trying to beat the door down with their fists. I grabbed the handle and jerked the door open. I had every intention of giving whoever was on the other side of the door a good piece of my mind. My word caught in my throat when I saw Mary standing there. She was soaking wet and you could smell the alcohol coming off her. She had been crying and just to look in her eyes one could feel her pain._

"_Mary what's wrong? What's happened? Oh My God is it Liv?"_

"_She left"_

_I just looked at her confused at first. "left? What do you mean left?"_

"_I came home and there was a note. It said I can't stand cheaters. We're done. There's no need to lie anymore? Who's cheating? Casey not me. What the hell is going on? What is she talking about?"_

_I grabbed her and pulled her into my apartment. "Come on sweetie let's get you out of these wet clothes"_

"_Who's cheating? Is it her? I know I'm not. Did she find someone new and was afraid to tell me? What happened?"  
"Have you talked to her?"_

"_Yeah I called and she told me to give her time to get an apartment and get her stuff out. I could have everything else. Don't call her again."_

_When she looked at me those once fierce blue eyes now held defeat. The look she had on her face said it all. She couldn't lose another wife. For whatever the reason. I knew at that moment that if she lost Liv she would never recover. There would be no telling what she would do. _

"Dr. Novak to ER STAT. Dr. Novak to ER STAT" The paging system snapped her out of daydream. She jumped up and ran out the door silently praying that Mary and Olivia could work things out.


	7. Chapter 7

Olivia raised her hand to knock on the door but dropped it again. She looked at her watch. She had been here for fifteen minutes so far. "Come on Olivia" she said to herself "You see the worse in people every day. Just knock on the door." Again she raised her hand but dropped it. This is useless she muttered. She turned and walked down the hallway to the elevator. When the elevator door opened she stepped in and turned to punch the ground floor button. "I love you, Mary. I always have and always will. I hope she treats you right and you're happy." She said to air as the door closed.

Twenty minutes later she was seated at the local bar trying to drown her sorrows. She knew alcohol wasn't the answer. She had learned that with her mother but at the moment it would numb all the feelings and she wouldn't have to face them. Where did everything go wrong she asked herself taking the last swig of beer and motioning to the bartender for another one.

She started thinking back to when they first met. She had gone over to the 2-7 to meet her friend Dean for lunch. She had walked up to her asking for Dean. Her breath had caught in her throat when she looked at her. Mary had blue eyes the bluest she had ever seen and when she looked at her she felt as if she was totally exposed. "He ran to evidence he will be back in a few. You must be Liv he told me to tell you to have a seat." All I could do was nod. I didn't trust my voice.

Olivia laughed out loud causing the bartender to walk up to her. "ma'am everything ok?"

"yeah walking down memory lane. Let me get another beer." The bartender reached behind the bar and grabbed another bottle popping the top. "You know it's none of my business but nothing good ever comes of trying to bury your sorrows in booze."

"You're right it is none of your business." The bartender nodded and walked off. Olivia stared at the bottle feeling bad for jumping on the bartender.

"_Please have a seat she shouldn't be too long. I'm Mary Blackwood." She said extending her hand. "I'm Olivia Benson I work at the 1-6" She answered taking her hand. The simple hand shake sent shock waves through her. She pulled her hand back like it was on fire. "I'm sorry Olivia did I do something" Mary asked with true concern in her eyes._

"_No just a sharp pain. I didn't mean to scare you."_

"_It's ok." They sat there and talked about being a female detective in the special victims unit and nothing in general. She found it very easy to talk to Mary. The conversation seemed to flow and it wasn't forced._

"_I don't see a wedding ring?" Mary had asked catching her off guard._

"_I'm not. I'm married to my job." I answered as I watched a smile creep onto her face. Suddenly there was a twinkle in her eyes that wasn't there earlier. "What about you?"_

"_I'm widowed. It's a long story."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_It's ok. So miss I'm married to my job. Do you think you could cheat on it and have dinner with me on Friday night." Leaning close to me. I felt as if everyone in the room was watching and could see and feel the electricity between us._

"_I'm sorry. I think you may have misunderstood my signals."_

"_I didn't misunderstand anything Olivia."_

_The way she said my name sent chills up and down my spine. Not from fear but excitement. I found myself wondering what my name would sound like coming from her during sex. I had to shake my head "No I really think you did."_

"_Pretty sure I didn't. if you're not out that's cool no one has to know. Besides its one date. I'm not asking you to marry me. Dinner, that's it."_

_I found myself wanting to say yes. I just had to know what it would be like to be kissed by her, made love to by her, to have all her attention on me. "Friday night 8 pm. Meet me at Cheshire Bay Restaurant on 25__th__ street."_

"_Ok."_

"_That's providing I don't catch a case that day. There are times…" She had cut me off "Olivia you don't have to explain to me. I'm riding the same boat you are. If either has to cancel we will just reschedule ok."_

_Mary leaned forward and took my hand in hers. "Let's pray that there is no new case" She brought my hand to her lips and kissed it. That simple kiss had shaken me to my core. Every part of my body was on fire. I had never experienced that before. It wasn't until I heard someone clear their throat that I had remembered where I was. I looked up and there was Dean standing with his arms crossed across his chest and a huge grin on his face._

"_If you like I can come back in a few?"_

"_I uhh. I" I couldn't form any words. The only thing that was going through my mind was how she made me feel with one simple kiss on my hand. Then everything hit me at once. I could feel the heat creeping all the way through my face. I knew I was so red that I could have been seen a mile away. "Listen Dean.." I had started to say but was interrupted by Mary_

"_Stays here man" was all she said as she stood and walked away. "You got it Mary" Was all he answered watching her walk out the door_

"Excuse me miss" The bartender was saying waving his hand in front of my face "Ma'am"

"Yeah, yes sir."

""Would you like another?" Pointing at my empty beer bottle.

"No thanks. Let me get a couple of shots of Tequila, instead."

"You know you should never mix liquor and beer together, right?"

"At this moment I don't care. Beer is no longer cutting it. I need something stronger. So line them up."

The bartender nodded as he pulled a shot glass from the counter and a bottle of tequila from behind him. "Make sure it's the gold version. I don't want nothing cheap" I said pointing to the bottle.

"Yes ma'am it is" He answered as he began filling up my glass. I took it and swallowed the golden tinted liquid. It burned like fire when I swallowed and brought tears to my eyes. I slammed the glass on the bar. "Keep filling them up until I say stop." He nodded as he filled the glass to the brim and I downed another one.

By the seventh or eighth shot it started to kick in I was beginning to feel numb. Numb was good but I wanted oblivion. "Keep em' coming" The bartender filled the glass again and said "Ma'am this is your last shot. I am going to cut you off."

"I didn't say anything about cutting me off." I tried to get out as normal as possible. Which was totally impossible considering the amount of alcohol I have had.

"No. I did. Is there someone you want me to call to pick you up?"

"Yeah my wife. Oh wait a minute you can't. She has found herself a new woman but doesn't have the guts to tell me. So NO"

"How about a sister or brother?"

"Nope only child." I stopped to think brother the closet person I had as a brother who wouldn't pass judgment was Fin. "Yeah call Fin" I said as I handed him the phone. "Just tell him he needs to come get Liv."

"Yes ma'am he answered as he opened the phone and scrolled through the contacts to find the person she was referring to. He handed her a bottle of water while he waited on someone named fin to answer the phone. "Here drink this. Trust me you are going to need all the water you can drink."

I took the bottle from him and mumbled something that sounded like thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

Fin grabbed his phone. "Fin"

"Hi Mr. Fin this is John Bates. I work at Firehouse Bar on College Drive. I have a Lady here who said to call you and tell you that Liv needs a ride."

"Liv as in Olivia Benson?"

"Hold on. Ma'am is your name Olivia Benson?" He asked. She simply nodded a yes.

"Yes sir."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Fin responded snapping his phone shut not waiting for an answer from the guy. "Hey Capt. I have to run an errand real quick."

"Fin. Why don't you call Mary and have her go get her?" Cragen asked

Fin eyes opened wide when he asked the question "You don't think I'm oblivious to what has been happening do you? You know how hard headed and stubborn Benson is. Hell Mary is like her in a way. She won't come around or call because Benson told her to. She thinks it's the best but it's only tearing Benson up more."

"I didn't think you knew"

"Please I knew my best detective was living at the station because her pride won't let her talk to her wife."

"Captain you know if I send Mary over there when she's drunk it will be a fight."

Cragen just nodded "Go" and turned to Munch "Wipe the grin off your face. Stop betting on their relationship."

Ten minutes later Fin pulled up in front of Firehouse Bar. He walked in and looked around the dimly lit bar. How the hell did Liv wind up here? This was the type of bar that they arrested most of their perps from. Something caught his attention from the back and he noticed it was the bartended. He walked over to him. "How much?" Nodding over in Olivia's direction.

"About 9 shots of tequila and 5 beers in about an hour and half period." John answered

"I'll settle the tab. How much?"

"She already paid man."

"Here's an extra twenty for calling me. Thank you"

"No problem. Can I give you some advice?"

"Feel free"

"She's a beautiful woman. If I had a wife that looked like that god knows I'd never stray."

Fin's eyes narrowed at the man as he was talking

"Whoa there buddy. I think your misinterpreting what I'm saying"

"I better be."

"I'm just saying go hunt up her wife and knock her around. She's dumb as hell to cheat on her. Since I hung up the phone she's been crying about how much she loves her and how she was stupid to ever believe that anyone could want her."

Fin laughed "You know what the bad part is man?"

The bartender just shook his head

"It's a total misunderstanding and if they would just sit and talk everything would be resolved. Neither one of them is about to give in. She's too hard headed to go and talk to Mary and Mary is so sure that this is what she wants so she won't call or come around."

"Chalk another love up to foolish pride as the country song goes"

"Man whatever don't listen to much country but that sounds about right"

"Well my advice is force them to talk. God knows if someone had done that to me I would have still been married to my second wife. Save them the heart ache. Trust me I'm speaking from experience."

"You know that's what I think I'm gonna do." Fin said walking toward Liv "Thanks man, for everything"

"Anytime man." John said as he went back to wiping the bar down

"Come on Liv. Let's get you out of here" Fin said helping her up off the stool. She looked up at him and her once lively chocolate brown eyes held nothing but pain and hurt. It tore his heart into pieces. If he could he would take it all away.

"Why Fin. I gave her everything. Was it my job? She said she understood. Hell we do the same job was that it. I love her."

"I know you do baby girl. It will work out. I promise." He whispered as he tried to help her walk. She was so drunk that she could barely stand. He decided then that enough was enough. If he had to handcuff them together and lock them in a room to talk. Then damn it he will do just that. "Come on let's get you home and sobered up."

"I don't have a home anymore." She whispered as tears just ran down her face

"I meant the station. That will always be your home." Fin answered knowing that he was lying to her. She just prayed that she would forgive him. At this point he didn't care he was done with the self pity and self loathing Olivia. He was going to get the old Olivia back even if she never talked to him again. God knows it would be worth it.

* * *

I know the chapter is short. I promise to have longer chapters in the near future. Please review. All comments welcomed and needed


	9. Chapter 9

Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Please comment and review

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Mary paced around the living room. Where the hell was she? Casey had called about twenty minutes ago saying that she was sending Olivia over here for them to talk. It only takes ten minutes with traffic to get here from Mercy Hospital. Mary's head snapped up. Oh my god what if something had happened to her on the way over here. No one knew about the hit that was put out on Olivia.

Mary grabbed her gun and badge and slipped them on her belt as fast as she could with the pain searing through her side. She ripped her jacket off the hanger and yanked it on causing her to yell out in pain and grab her side. She took a few deep breaths trying to work through the pain. Damn this gunshot she shouted to an empty apartment as she headed for the door.

When she opened the door she was hit with a familiar smell. She would know that smell anywhere. It was Olivia's faint musk and leather smell. She inhaled deeply trying to absorb the scent. God the things that smell could do to her. A smile spread across her face. She was here. Why didn't she knock or use the key? Oh god what if….? She was thinking to herself when she heard the familiar ding of the elevator. She stepped out of the door in time to see the door closing with Olivia in the elevator.

"I love you, Mary. I always have and always will. I hope she treats you right and you're happy." She heard her saying. "Liv" Mary shouted hoping to catch her but if Olivia didn't act like she heard her. Mary ran to the elevator and started punching the down button hoping the second elevator would get there quickly.

"Fuck this" Mary said as she turned and started for the stairs. She began running down the stairs at full speed always jumping the last three stairs to get to the landing faster. The pain in her side was becoming unbearable and she could feel her shirt starting to get wet. "Damn it." Mary said to an empty stairwell as she nearly jerked the door off the hinges going to the lobby.

"Jerry, which way did detective Benson go?" Mary asked the doorman walking up to him.

Jerry's eyes grew big when he saw her blood soaked shirt. "Mrs. Blackwood you're bleeding?"

"I know I'm bleeding now which way did my wife go?" Mary shouted at him sounding a little harsher than she intended to.

Jerry jumped back at her tone. "She turned left Mrs. Blackwood."

"Thank you" She shouted as she ran out the door and turning to the left. "Olivia" Mary shouted as she squeezed herself through the crowd of people. "Olivia" She shouted again. Someone bumped into her causing her to scream in pain. She spun quickly "Watch what the hell you are doing, asshole" She yelled at the poor guy who had bumped into her. She spun around and scanned the crowd. There was no sign of Olivia. She turned and started back to the apartment.

"Did you catch her Mrs. Blackwood?" Jerry asked with concern in his eyes.

"No I didn't." Mary said with tears in her eyes "Listen I'm going to go call a Dr. Warner to come over and look at my wound. When she comes let her right in and up to the apartment please."

"Yes ma'am"

Mary walked toward the elevator and hit the up button. She turned around "Hey Jerry. I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's been a rough couple of weeks. I know that's not a reason to snap on you. And I understand that you were trying to look out for me. Thank you."

"Anytime Blackwood" He said with a smile

"Warner" Melinda Warner the Medical Examiner assigned to the 1-6 special victims unit stated as she answered the phone.

"Hey Warner its Blackwood. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Mary she hasn't been getting enough sleep or eating right. I think everyone has tried to get her to…" Mary interrupted Warner's statement "That's not why I'm calling Warner, but thank you for keeping an eye on her."

"Oh" was all she said. She didn't know what else to say at that moment.

"I was calling for myself" Mary began trying to fill the awkward silence "I was shot 10 days ago and I think I just busted my stitches. Again. I was wondering if you would come to Casey's apartment and fix me up. If I go to the Doctor or Hospital again they are going to keep me. I can't do that right now."

"You were shot? Does Liv know?"

"No. She is not to find out either. I don't want to add any extra stress onto her."

"Like her thinking your cheating isn't a lot of stress" Warner shouted into the phone before realizing what she was saying. "I'm sorry Mary that was totally out of line."

Mary laughed into the phone. "Tell me how you really feel. Don't hold back either there Melinda. Don't worry I'm receiving a lot of grief on what's happening. Can you come over and fix me please?"

"Yeah I'll be there in twenty minutes" Warner answered grabbing all her supplies needed for a house call.

"Thank you." Mary leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes trying to will the pain away. She hated taking the pain medicine that was prescribed for her and Tylenol was not cutting it. She took a few deep breaths and was thrown back into the night she was shot.

_Freeze Police I kept shouting to the perp as I chased him across yards, over fences, and through alleys. Stop or I will shoot I commanded as I pulled my gun and leveled it at the suspect. The suspect stopped and turned around. Thank god I thought to myself. Drop to your knees I ordered him as I slowly approached him. He had done as he was told until I got close to enough to handcuff him. Without any warning he lunged at me taking me down at the knees. It seemed like eternity before I realized what had happened or could react. By then he had my gun and was pointing it at my head. "This is going to be a real pleasure" he smirked. "I'll let this be your last thought. After I shoot you, I am going to hunt that pretty little wife of yours down. When I get her and I will get her I am going to rape her and slowly kill her." When he said that a chill went through me. This guy was connected to the Russian mob. If anyone could it would be him. "This will teach you to mess with the russian mob" Was the last words he said as he pulled the trigger. I remember hearing the bang but some how I had managed to move to where I was shot in my side. How I will never know._

Mary jumped at the sound of someone pounding on the front door. She pulled her gun from the holster and walked as quietly as she could to the door. Peering through the peep hole she saw Warner. She holstered her weapon and let Warner in. "Thank you so much for doing this Warner." Mary said while motioning Warner to have a seat once the door was secured back.

"No problem but I do have a question."

Mary nodded for her to go on with her question.

"Exactly how hard did you hit your head when you got shot?"

"Hit my head? I didn't hit my head Melinda. Why did you ask that?"

"Because it's the only logical reason for what you are doing."

"The doctor said that he felt that he was releasing me to soon, but since I was being released to the care of Casey he would release me. Which was fine by me because six days in the hospital is enough. hell One day was enough. But he also informed me that if anything at all, even so much as one stitch tearing he was putting me back in the hospital. That I will not do. I knew if I called Casey she would have me readmitted. I'm hoping you'll be able to fix me without letting anyone know. Can you?"

Melinda laughed "I wasn't talking about busting your stitches. I can recall a few times I had to do something like this for Elliot or Olivia. I'm talking about what's going on with you and Olivia. Trust me she loves you. If you walked into the precinct right now and forced her to talk to you. You would probably get everything resolved."

"You think I haven't thought about that Melinda. Do you know how close I have been to storming in there and snatching her up. Telling her how wrong she is. How much I want her and only her. I only lover her. I only have eyes for her. She is so far from the truth its not even funny. Carrying her out of there and taking her back home and make love to her till she realizes she's the one I want. I'd give anything just to kiss her again. It's been almost eight years since our first date and she still turns me on. Hell I want her more each day than I ever thought I could. It's like I find new ways to fall in love with her all over again."

"That's called love Mary. So why don't you do just that" Melinda asked as she was laying everything out on the coffee table "Take your shirt off for me please and lay back too."

Mary unbuttoned her shirt and slowly slid it off her. The slightest movement cause almost unbearable pain. "Do you know what the last words she said to me was?"

Melinda slowly pulled the bandage off shaking her head no

"When did I become so stupid to think that you really loved me? To think you said you gave up your playing days. THis is a mistake I will never make again. I never want to see or hear from you again. then she hung up on me. A mistake...A MISTAKE. How was loving me a mistake? God I will die for that woman. I have given her everything. but i was a mistake."

"You haven't given her the truth."

"Truth about what?"

"Who you were talking to. No one is not an answer any woman wants to hear when they over hear their husband or wife in your case saying "you can't call me hear my wife might answer". Plus not telling her about being shot. That's a pretty big secret to keep to"

"Exactly what did you want me to tell her. Oww Damn it Melinda go a little easy please. Although I'm sure everyone at the 16 will be happy to hear you're here causing me pain."

"Sorry about that and no they wouldn't everyone is really hoping you will work things out. What is the truth?"

"Trust me you don't want to know"

"Yes I do. I will promise you that I will not tell Liv. That's up to you."

"The woman that called was an ex-girlfriend of mine. Well actually more like a two night stand. She works for the DEA and the drug cartel that killed my first wife has a hit out on me and Olivia. The bastard was finally apprehended and charged with their murders. I will have to testify. To try to get me not to testify they put a hit out on us. Me because if I'm dead no witness and her because they know I will do anything to protect her. Even if it means not putting the bastard that killed Sara on death row."

"WHAT. I think that's something she needs to know Mary"

"Why to worry her. No. Maria has a protective detail on Olivia and she never leaves the station anymore. As long as I'm out of the picture she's safe. I hope so anyways. If the only way I can keep her safe is to let her think I'm cheating then fine. If they think we're over maybe they will leave her alone"

Melinda began placing a clean bandage over the newly sutured wound. "You couldn't be farther from the truth. Your vows did say in good times and bad. These are the bad times. Trust me Liv will not run because there's a hit out on her. She will stand by you and fight with you."

"And get killed like Sara. I can't lose another wife like that. I hope someday she will understand."

"You rather her walk away from you?"

"Yes. Because she chose to do that. SHe wasn't taken from me because of my job. Something I did."

"Go ahead and put your shirt on. I'm done." Melinda gathered her belongings and stood to leave "Every day both of you run the risk of not coming home to each other because of your jobs. This is no different. Talk to her. Tell her everything. If she chooses to stay gone then its because she's fully informed. Not because she thinks your a cheater or you no longer love her."

Mary stood and gave Melinda a hug. "Thank you so much for everything. Please keep what was said between us."

"I will as long as you think about what I said and talk to her."

Mary held the door open for Melinda. "I will. Give me time to think ok."

Melinda nodded a yes walked to the elevator. Before the door closed Mary heard her say tell her it will do you both good.

Mary shut and locked the door then leaned against it. Would it help? Or make matters worse?


	10. Chapter 10

Fin pulled in front of the two story brick house that Mary and Olivia had bought a few months back. He walked around the back of the car and opened the door. "Liv, honey wake up so I can get you inside. Liv…Olivia Benson-Blackwood wake up so I can get you inside." Olivia just rolled over. She was passed out. Gently Fin pulled her from the car and lifted her in his arms. Man she is lighter than my dog he thought to himself.

He sat her down easy on the porch bench careful to make sure she didn't hit her head. He began digging in her coat pocket trying to find her keys. He found two sets. Why do you have two sets he asked out loud? He began going key to key that he thought may have been a house key. Luck was on his side. The third key he tried was the correct one. Thank god he muttered as he pushed the door open.

He walked back and picked Olivia up. He carefully maneuvered through the door with her and up the stairs to her bedroom. He laid her on the bed and removed her shoes, jacket, badge and gun. He laid her back on the pillows and covered her with the blanket at the bottom of the bed. She rolled over and extended her arm across the bed taking a deep breath in. A smile spread acrossed her face and she whispered Mary's name. Fin shook his head. It was so oblivious that she loved Mary. Swallow your pride and go talk to her he thought.

Fin went into the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. Liv was definitely going to need it when she came to. He walked around the house looking at the pictures. The love they have for each other could clearly be seen in their faces. That was it Fin decided he was taking matters into his own hands.

"What is it Fin? What does she need?" Mary asked answering her phone. There was no need for a hello when he called. The calls meant Liv needed something and Mary would make sure she got what she needed.

Fin took a deep breath "You" was his only answer.

"Fin, she doesn't want me anymore. She told me to never call her again and she never wanted to see me again."

"Damn it Mary she is as hard headed as you. Now get your ass to your house and work things out."

"It's no longer my house Fin. I gave it to her. That way she wouldn't have to worry about finding a place to live. She will always be safe."

"I don't really care anymore. Tell yourself whatever you want. But know this. Your wife…YOUR WIFE is upstairs passed out drunk….DRUNK…because she misses you so much. Now get your ass over here."

"Fin I can't...She" Mary was cut off

"I don't give a damn. Either you bring your ass over here or I will call Stabler in from his honeymoon to drag you over here."

"NO Fin don't. You know he's gonna want to kill me and that will only hurt Liv more."

"Yeah, I know. But you guys have got to talk. She cries herself to sleep and I'm sure you do to. Why not cry in each other arms?"

"It's not that easy, man. There are factors here that no one knows about. It's best like this."

"Best hell. Face it together."

"I wish we could man."

"You can" Fin heard a knock at the door "Just talk to her. I'll call you later someone's at the door." Fin snapped phone shut and headed to the door. What he didn't realize Mary was screaming don't answer the door when he hung up.

Fin opened the open the door and there stood Melinda Warner. "What are you doing here?" Fin asked.

"I came to talk to Olivia. What are you doing here?"

"Liv got drunk. I went and picked her up and brought her back here."

"Olivia got drunk? Now that's something serious. I'm glad I came over. We have got to find a way to get them together. Can I come in?"

Fin stepped back and motioned for her to enter and have a seat. "I just put some coffee on. Would you like some?"

"Sure. Do you remember how I like it?"

"How can I forget?" Fin answered with a smile as he walked into the kitchen. A few minutes later he returned with two cups of steaming coffee. "So what's your plan?"

"Simple tell Olivia the truth."

"She's not listening. She's determined that Mary is cheating on her."

"You don't know the whole truth either do you?"  
"No what are talking about."

"Trust me you want to sit for this." Melinda gave Fin time to sit down and get comfortable before continuing. "There is a contract hit out on both Mary and Olivia. The DEA finally caught the guy who killed Mary's first wife. She has to testify. They want to kill her to stop her from testifying and they threatened Olivia's life because they know Mary will do whatever is needed to protect her. That's why she's not fighting any harder."

"There's what? Didn't Mary think that was something we needed to know so we could protect her? Why the hell hide it"

"Calm down. Maria, the woman she overheard Mary talking to, also an ex-girlfriend apparently, has a protective detail on her. Mary is also thinking that as long as she stays away Liv will be safe. No need to hurt her or kill her if Mary no longer "loves her". "

"Oh my god this is Mary's way of protecting Olivia. Liv would rather have her by her side and looking over her back than live without her. When all this blew over she was what just going to walk in the squad room and say sorry this is what happened I love you forgive me."

"No she figured by the time it was over Olivia would never talk to her again. She said it would be the price she paid to know she would always be alright. She's determined but one look at her and you can tell it's tearing her apart."

"It should be. Hell..."

"Oh and she was shot ten days ago. I had to re stitch her a little while ago."

"Shot? Liv never got the call."

"I know. That would have probably got them back together and we wouldn't be sitting here breaking confidences."

"Amen. Have you thought of any solutions to our problem?"

"Lie"

"About?"

"Olivia being hurt. I know it's risky but it will definitely get Mary to her side."

"And from there what?"  
"I have no clue. Trap them in a room. Handcuff them together. Hell I don't know. We can worry about that later."

"No now because Mary will come in with guns blazing trust me."

"Fine how about calling Mary to the station to sign divorce papers. Put her in the interrogation room with Megan acting as Liv's attorney?"  
"Can't Megan is on her honeymoon with Stabler. They're not due back for almost two more weeks."

"Well shit. I'll call Alex. She owes me a favor."

"That could work Melinda. Let's do this."

Melinda stood up to leave. "I'll call her on the way back then."

"Don't leave."

Melinda turned around "What?"

Fin smiled at her "Hang out here with me. It will probably be a while before Liv wakes up and she did drink a whole lot. You may want to go check on her. She didn't come too when I tried to wake her."

"I'll check on her" Melinda said as she started up the stairs.

About fifteen minutes later Melinda returned. "She's going to be fine but she will have one hell of a headache. I hang around with you till she wakes up. To make sure she's ok"

"I appreciate it Mel." Fin said as he grabbed the remote. "Let's see if a game is on to kill the time." Melinda settled next to him.


	11. Chapter 11

For the second time that day Mary grabbed her badge and gun and clipped them on her belt as fast as she could. Damn it Fin why didn't you listen a few more seconds before hanging up she thought to herself as she grabbed her jacket off the back of the couch. She jerked the door open and slammed it shut. She wasn't wasting time on locking it, jerking her jacket on as she opened the doors to the stairs. She started running down the stairs again jumping the last three to the landing to save time. Damn she muttered to herself. She could already feel the bandage getting wet. She yanked the door to the garage area open and broke into a dead run.

She jumped into her mustang and gunned it as she started it. You could smell the rubber as she peeled out of the parking space. She never stopped spinning the tires until she was on the street. Please god let me make it in time she silently prayed. She gunned through a red light almost causing an accident. She knew everyone was yelling and cussing at her in their cars.

She slowed down to 60 mph as she took the left turn but quickly floored it. Please god, please god she kept saying to an empty car. She glanced down at the speedometer it was approaching 110. God I love Cobras she said as she maneuvered around two cars and a messenger bike. The car was quickly approaching max speeds. She slowed enough to make a right turn but that didn't last long.

In less than five minutes she was out of the city. That was defiantly a record. She didn't even know police officers who could make it out that fast in squad cars. Once she hit the express way it was open game. In no time at all she was getting off her exit. Since she was closer to her house she didn't bother to slow to much taking turns. There was only one time that she almost regretted it but was able to keep control. She turned down her street and gunned it straight ahead.

She came screeching to a halt in front of their house with a cloud of smoke. She jerked the emergency brake up and took off running to the front porch. She took the three steps with determination. She took as deep of a breath as she could as she pulled her gun from the holster. With the last bit of strength she had she kicked the door in read to shoot, they were going to die.

Mary heard the noise from the living room and entered it. She was already starting to pull the trigger when she realized that it was Melinda standing there. Suddenly she was hitting floor and her gun went flying. She screamed out in pain as a blow connected with her stitches. She tried to turn over but both her arms was pulled behind her and placed in handcuffs. Oh my god she just made matters worse she thought as she felt the tip of a gun placed at the base of her neck.

"Make one move and I will shoot." Fin ordered

That voice. Oh my god it was Fin that had tackled her. Everything came into focus then. Melinda was screaming at Fin. It took a few minutes before she realized exactly what she was saying. She was yelling at Fin to stop it was Mary, Let her up.

"MARY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING KICKING IN YOUR OWN DOOR?" Fin screamed at her as he got off her and removed the handcuffs. "Are you ok?" Mary nodded with tears in her eyes. Her hand flew to her side as an automatic reflex. Her shirt was soak and wet and when she pulled her hand back it was covered in blood.

"Olivia" she whispered

"She's upstairs sleeping her binge drinking she did earlier. But she's ok."

Mary shook her head no. "Olivia" she whispered again and pointed behind him.

Fin turned around and saw Olivia standing about halfway down the stairs and her gun pointed at Mary. "Liv put the gun down." He was truly afraid that she would shoot Mary. He had never seen that look in her eyes.

Olivia holstered her weapon and took off running towards them. "MARY...MARY...OH MY GOD MELINDA HELP HER" Olivia screamed as she pushed Fin out of the way. Fin turned and saw that Mary had passed out and was bleeding badly where he had punched her.

Olivia sat next to Mary on the floor and cradled Mary's head. "Come on baby, please stay with me." She was sobbing. She glared up at Fin "What the hell did you do to her? Did you shoot her? What Fin? WHAT?"

"I…uhh...I didn't pull my weapon Liv. You had your weapon pulled but…" He was cut off

"I DIDN"T FIRE MY WEAPON. CALL AN AMBULANCE…NOWWW" She screamed out.

"Olivia, relax." Melinda spoke softly as she unbuttoned Mary's shirt and pulled the bandage off gently" Mary was shot ten days ago. She has probably pulled the stitches again like she did earlier."

"Earlier? What do you mean earlier?" Olivia asked

Melinda pulled on some gloves that she carried in her pocket and inspected the area. "Liv I will be happy to answer any and all questions for you but right now we have to get her to a hospital."

Olivia's voice broke "I can't lose her Mel. I love her. I don't…I can't"

"I know and I will do everything in my power to prevent it Liv."

It seemed like an eternity before the ambulance arrived. Olivia was still holding Mary's head and gently rocking. "Please don't leave me baby. I love you." Was all she kept repeating.

"Ma'am I need you to let us take her" the EMT was saying as he tried to remove Mary from Olivia's gasp.

"Come on baby girl. I'll take you to the hospital. Melinda is going to ride with her."

Olivia collapsed into his arms "I love her."

"I know that and so does Mary. She is a fighter and she will not leave you like this. I promise."

"I left her"

"Beat yourself up later. We have to get going."

"We have to move she's coding." Melinda shouted as she straddled Mary and began CPR.

Olivia turned deathly pale as she watched the love of her life being hustled into an ambulance.


	12. Chapter 12

This is a short chapter. I promise the rest will be longer. Just note I know nothing medically.

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Melinda jumped on the stretcher "She's coding, let's go now." Emt's rush them into the waiting ambulance. Once they were secured, the driver hopped in and started the ambulance. Throwing it into drive with a lurch.

"GET HER STRAIGHT TO MERCY, STAT" Melinda shouted.

"That's too far! She'll never make it" the driver responded.

Melinda flung her cell phone at the driver. "Hit speed dial number 5 and tell the captain that Mary's coding and we need a clear path to Mercy from her place. Then hit speed dial number 4 and repeat the same phrase. When you're finished with those two calls hit speed dial number 6 and tell the doctor that answers that we're en route with Mary. She needs to have a trauma team ready when we get there."

The driver frantically did as he was instructed and by the time the left the neighborhood the driver was shouting "ALL CALLS WERE MADE."

Melinda nodded as she went to work on Mary. She grabbed the paddles, charged them to 360 and shouted "CLEAR". Mary's body jumped at the shock.

"She's still in v-fib" the EMT who was working with Melinda said "Shock again".

Melinda shocked her a second time. Mary's body jumped at the shock as it did before. The EKG got a weak but thready rhythm. Melinda took a breath and said "Mary, don't you dare give up! I'm not going to be the one to tell Liv you didn't make it." She then began to start the IV fluids and attached a re-breather mask to Mary's face. Once she had Mary somewhat stable she shouted "FLOOR IT". The ambulance lurched as the driver did as he was instructed.

It seemed like an eternity to Melinda when they finally began to pull into the ambulance bay at Mercy. Even though they had made it in record time considering the distance they had to go. Just as they stopped, Mary's stats dropped and she coded again. Melinda straddled Mary again as the driver slung the doors opened. Melinda looked up to see Casey and about six other people standing there. "She's coded again we have to move quickly." Casey and two others stepped forward and jerked the stretcher out of the ambulance.

"Let's go people. We are not going to lose her." Casey shouted as they ran Mary through the emergency room door.

Casey and the trauma team rushed Mary into Trauma bay 1 while Melinda continued CPR. "I need two units of A-, call Dr. Johnson tell him to have the OR ready, and bring me an ultrasound." Casey ordered as she was securing the stretcher. She grabbed Melinda's arm and helped her off of Mary while instructing the nurse to charge the paddles to 360. "CLEAR" Casey shouted as she jolted Mary's body with the paddles. Still nothing. "Charge to 380. Damn it Mary stay with us."

"Ready doctor"

"CLEAR" Casey shocked Mary again. Still no response. "Give me 10 of ampi and charge to 410." THe nurse brought the needle over and Casey injected it into Mary. "CLEAR." Casey shouted as she prepared to jolt Mary again. Mary's body jerked off the stretcher. "beep, beep, beep" Melinda and Casey started crying "Thank god. Where's the ultrasound?"

"Right here doctor."

Casey gentled poured the gel on Mary's stomach careful to make sure none dripped into her open wound. "OH SHIT. Her spleen is ruptured. What happened Mel."

"Long story short. Kicked her door in and Fin jumped her punched a few times. We didn't know it was her."

"Doctor OR room 3 is prepped and ready for us. "

Casey nodded "Tell him we are on our way. She has excessive blood loss and a ruptured spleen. Let's move people. Melinda grab the portable paddle just in case."

Melinda nodded and snatched the box off the cart. She slid through the doors as it was ready to close. "What are her chances Casey and be truthful with me."

"Melinda you know as well as me what her chances are."

Melinda nodded as tears began to form in her eyes "I just need to hear she will be ok."

The elevators door opened and they rushed Mary down the hall to the waiting operating nurse. Casey quickly briefed the doctor through the intercom.

"Thank Casey I you will page you as soon as we are done. I know this is a good friend. Go inform her family and bring them up here to the surgical waiting room. Put them in the private one." The doctor saw the look of fear in Casey's eyes "Not because of that. I want to give them some privacy and plus that will clear the waiting rooms for the rest of the department."

Casey and Melinda both nodded and turned toward the elevator. Casey felt numb inside. How was she going to explain this to Olivia. "What if she doesn't pull through?" Casey hadn't realized she had spoken aloud until Melinda answered. "She will. She's strong, she's a fighter, and she will never leave Olivia without explaining why she did what she did. Besides the last thing she saw and heard was Olivia saying I love you, I can't lose you"

Casey leaned back against the elevator and took a few deep breaths. "God I hope your right." Melinda simple nodded as the elevator dinged indicating their floor. They stepped off the elevator and walked to the waiting room. It was time to tell Olivia. She was pacing back and forth and they could see tears in her eyes. "God I hate this" Casey said as she stepped through the double doors. "Olivia" Casey said reaching out and touching her arm.

Olivia spun around "Oh God Casey...Mary..."

"I know I worked on her when she came in." Casey took a deep breath she knew she had to be straight with her "She codded in the ambulance as she arrived. We were able to revive her though. SHe has lost a lot of blood and she rupuctered her spleen. She's in surgery now with the best surgeon we have."

Olivia nodded "Will she make it?"

God why did she ask that. "to be honest with you. Its touch and go right now. She was already in a weakened state. But she is a fighter. She knows your here for her. She has a reason to fight this time. Trust me she will. She loves you. Follow me Liv and I'm going to take you to the surgical waiting room."

Olivia turned and motioned to Fin to follow and all four heading for the elevator.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Fin dropped the car into a lower gear to make the shard right into Mercy's ambulance entrance. Olivia was out of the car before fin had completely stopped. She ran around the ambulance in time to see Melinda performing CPR and shouting she coded again to Casey. Casey and her team stepped forward and rushed her into the hospital. **_

"_**Come on baby girl" Fin said grabbing her by the arm "Lets get into the waiting room."**_

"_**Fin will she be okay?"**_

"_**You know she will. Mary is a hell of a fighter. Besides she has you as a reason to fight."**_

"_**Yeah but I haven't been there much."**_

"_**Welcome to marriage and law enforcement. At least you had the sense to marry in the profession."**_

_**Olivia paced around the ER waiting room. What the hell was taking so long? She stopped and looked at Fin. He shrugged his shoulders at her. She walked over to the nurse behind the counter. Before she had a chance to ask her anything the nurse looked up and stated "Mrs. Benson-Blackwood as soon as we know something you will too." Then promptly went back to the computer. **_

_**Olivia turned and surveyed her surrounding s for about the fiftieth time. The walls were the same drab gray color that was in every waiting room. The carpet was a bluish gray that had the square designs in it. If you stared at it long enough you could begin to make your own patterns. The chairs was so original. Dark blue padding with brown backs, arms, and legs. All of them connected together. Every hospital had to order from the same wholesaler she thought. There was a small silver lcd TV mounted in the corner that was on fox news channel. Mary loved that news channel she thought to herself as she began to tear up again.**_

_**The bathrooms were to the right with the water fountain in between the doors. There was the painting of a flower pot with about six flowers in the vase on the wall adjacent from the nurses station. The picture itself looked depressing. Olivia turned around and started to walk back to the counter when she heard a familiar voice. "Liv is there any news?"**_

_**Olivia turned and collapsed into Captain Cragens arms. "No one will tell me anything Capt"**_

"_**Munch stormed past her and the captain and flashed his badge to the nurse. "I need an update on Detective Mary Blackwood. NOW"**_

"_**Sir I'm gonna tell you like I have been telling her. As soon as I know something I will let you know."**_

"_**That will not do. Get your ass from behind the counter and walk back there and find something out."**_

_**The nurse had a look of shock on her face and started to go back to what she was doing on the computer. Munch reached over the counter and pulled the keyboard from her. "I said to get moving. NOW" The lady stumbled back and turned to go to the back.**_

_**Olivia had untangled herself from the Captain and was staring at Munch. He did have a heart. "Maybe we can find something out now." Was all he said as he went to take a seat by Fin. Fin patted him on the back. His way of saying good job to Munch. **_

"_**Liv, I called Elliot and Megan they will be here by nine ok."**_

"_**Captain there was no need to call them in from their honeymoon"**_

"_**One of our own is down yes there was."**_

"_**Mary wasn't our precient, though."**_

_**Cragen grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look in his eyes "They day you two married made her one of us, Olivia. I know you guys are going through a rough patch right now. Welcome to marriage. You mess with one you mess with all. You know that so well Olivia."**_

_**Olivia nodded in agreement. She knew that Stabler would want to be here for her. She also knew that Mary was going to get a good chewing by him too. Maybe they both needed that. "Mrs. Benson-Blackwood?" The nurse said jerking her out of her own thoughts. **_

"_**Yes"**_

"_**They are still working on her. She will be going into surgery" The nurse responded like a robot and went back to what she was doing before Munch forced her to do her job.**_

"_**THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO TELL ME" Olivia shouted at the nurse. The nurse just simply nodded. Olivia went back to pacing the waiting room when she heard a familiar voice "Olivia" Casey said reaching out and touching her arm.**_

_**Olivia spun around "Oh God Casey...Mary..."**_

_**"I know I worked on her when she came in." Casey took a deep breath she knew she had to be straight with her "She coded in the ambulance as she arrived. We were able to revive her though. She has lost a lot of blood and she rupuctered her spleen. She's in surgery now with the best surgeon we have."**_

_**Olivia nodded "Will she make it?"**_

_**God why did she ask that. "to be honest with you. Its touch and go right now. She was already in a weakened state. But she is a fighter. She knows your here for her. She has a reason to fight this time. Trust me she will. She loves you. Follow me Liv and I'm going to take you to the surgical waiting room."**_

_**Olivia turned and motioned for everyone to follow. In a single file line with a solemn that anyone could detect they all filed into the elevator each silently saying a prayer for their coworker and friend.**_

_**Casey punched number 3 for the third floor surgical wing. The elevator slowly creeped to its destination with a ding signaling arrival. Casey stepped out first and began to lead the way. The second she opened the family waiting room door Olivia lost it.**_

"_**OH GOD NOO…NOOOOOOOO….NOOOOOOOOO"**_

_**Casey spun around not sure what had set Olivia off. She found her on her knees rocking and steady screaming no. "Liv come on. It's gonna be ok" She whispered to her wrapping her arms around her shoulder. "Let's get you in the room."**_

"_**NO…IF I GO IN THERE SHE'S DEAD"**_

_**That's when it hit Casey. This was the room they usually put the family's in to pass bad news in private. "No Olivia. She's not dead. I'm taking you in here to give us privacy. It has nothing to do with how Mary is doing in surgery."**_

"_**How many times have we asked you to have a family to wait in here to talk to them Case."**_

"_**I know but that's not the case this time." Casey motioned for Fin to come and help her lift Olivia to get her in the room. Fin walked over and gently lifted her into his arms. "It will all work out" He whispered as he kissed the top of her head. This was killing him inside. Olivia had always been the strong one. Never breaking down like this. Even last year when Mary was beaten and in a coma for a week she was strong. The divide in their relationship was really taking a toll on her.**_

_**After about thirty minutes of rocking in the chair Olivia stood and began to pace this room. Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. It was a mix of pink and brown. The carpet was a solid color of pepto pink. What was these people thinking she asked herself. The walls were a stripped brown and pink. Whoever decorated this room was on drugs. They should really drug test their decorators. There was a small table in the corner with a light tan phone and small maroon lamp with a pink lamp shade. There was no pictures in this room. Her guess was they were tired of replacing them after family members broke them.**_

_**Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. Olivia stopped on step three and looked at her watch. Mary had been in surgery for almost an hour and a half now. "What is taking so long?" She asked no one in particular. **_

_**Melinda stood and walked to the door "I'll see if I can find anything out." She quietly shut the door behind her and walked to the nurses station. "Ma'am is there any news on Mary Blackwood?"**_

_**The nurse typed a few things in the computer and looked up at her "I'm sorry Dr. Warner we haven't been notified of any updates yet." **_

"_**Thank you. Where are your vending machines at?"**_

"_**Go to the second door and punch in 4758. That's our break room area. Help yourself to whatever you need. I will order down for extra employee meals for you and your friends."**_

"_**Thank you but I'm sure no one wants to eat right now."**_

"_**I agree but at some point you will have to eat."**_

_**Melinda nodded her thanks and walked back to the room. "There is no new update yet."**_

_**Olivia stopped pacing and looked at her with a blank stare "Is that good or bad?"**_

"_**It could go either way, Liv." Melinda said with a determined look on her face. "Fin will you help me. The nurses gave me access to their break room and I need help carrying the drinks." Fin stood and followed Melinda out of the room.**_

"_**On average how long does it take to fix a spleen, Casey?"**_

"_**It depends on the amount of damage. Plus to be truthful if there are any complications in the OR."**_

"_**Like?"**_

_**Casey took a deep breath. She didn't want to answer that question "Lets not think about that."**_

"_**ANSWER MY QUESTION" Liv shouted at Casey which echoed so bad in the room**_

"_**If she coded again they would have to stop what they were doing to try and revive her."**_

"_**Thank you." Olivia answered before she began pacing again. Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. Six steps and turn. Olivia stopped dead in her tracks. There was the doctor.**_

"_**How..umm How is she doctor?" She whispered she wasn't sure she had spoken aloud till the doctor looked at her and asked if she was Mary's wife. Olivia nodded a yes "How is she?"**_

"_**It will be touch and go for the next forty eight hours. She had lost almost half her blood supply when she arrived. Her spleen was rupcutured and once we opened her up we discovered that she had three broken ribs. One of which had pierced her left lung. It's amazing she lasted the ride here. She coded two more times on the table. I have to say this about her. She is a fighter. Don't know many that would have survived all that she has endured right now."**_

_**Olivia smiled at the doctor "You have no clue how much of a fighter she is. How long till I can see her?"**_

"_**She 's in recover room now. She will be there for about an hour. Then we will move her into her room. She is in a drug induced coma at the moment though. She has a respirator breathing for her and a drainage tube coming out of her left side."**_

"_**How long till she wakes up?"**_

"_**We will keep her in the drug induced coma for about three to five days. After that its up to her."**_

_**Olivia was slowly taking everything the doctor said in. What it boiled down to was that she may or may not wake up. "When will I be taken to her?"**_

"_**In about an hour." the doctor turned and faced Casey "Casey she will be going to room 421 in ICU."**_

_**Casey nodded her acknowledgement. **_

"_**Can we go ahead and go up there Casey? I want to be there when they whell her in the room."**_

"_**I will take you there in a few we have to wait here until they are almost ready to move her in case anything happens in recover"**_

_**Olivia finally quit pacing the room and collapsed in a chair. Everything she had held in her began to come out. Her body shook with the sobs. Casey kneeled down in front of her and brushed her chocolate brown hair out of her eyes. "Hey she made it this far she is going to make it all the way."**_

"_**I know" Olivia gasped out in between sobs "I just wish it didn't take this for me to realize how much I love her and need her."**_

"_**Your lucky its not too late for you."**_

"_**I'm sorry Casey I know you still love her."**_

_**Casey stopped her "I do and a part of me always will. But I thank god she found you. So lets move on ok."**_

_**Olivia leaned her head on Casey's shoulder's and began crying all the tears she had held in for the last month.**_


	14. Chapter 14

Olivia blindly followed Casey to Mary's room. "Liv, just sit here I'm gonna go down and help transport her to the room" Casey told her as she gently placed her in the chair.

"Ok" Was all she could muster to say.

Casey left the room with strict instructions to the nurses to leave room 421 alone and all occupants. Everyone agreed and continued on with their work. Casey entered the elevator silently praying that Mary would recover.

Olivia looked around the room. At least there was some brightness to this room compared to the rooms she had been in. It was a light blue almost powder blue. The tile was white with a tint of blue in it. Olivia smiled to herself Mary would be happy. She loves the color blue. There was a small closet adjacent to the door and a small bathroom with a walk in shower. There was another LCD TV mounted on the wall for the patients enjoyment. Olivia made a mental note to bring some old case files and dd-5 down for Mary to work on when she was able. Just watching TV would drive her up a wall.

Olivia stood at the window and wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to keep some unforeseen cold away. Mary had a nice view of the park. She could relax in the chair and Liv could turn the table into a make shift desk for her. Mary never knows how to relax she said out loud to an empty room.

"I think its time she learns Liv don't you" A voice said from behind her. Olivia spun around and started to reach for her gun. "Hey easy it's me Joe." Mary's partner had replied with his hands held high.

"Sorry Joe. Guess I'm a little jumpy."

"No need to be Mary killed the person who shot her. As far as we can tell there's no chatter on the wire about the mob coming after her."

"Mob? What are you talking about?"

"Oh you didn't know?" Olivia shook her head no at his answer.

"Mary was chasing a perp had ties to Russian mob and was able to jump her. He snatched her gun made a few threats concerning both you and her and shot Mary. She grabbed her back-up piece called his name. When he turned it was a perfect kill shot."

"Is IAB investigating?"

"They have already cleared her. So no worries ok"

"Listen I just stopped in to check on her. I'll come back later if that's ok with you."

"Joe you're welcomed anytime you know that."

Joe closed the gap between them and wrapped Olivia in a hug. "Listen she loves you more than you know. Take this time to talk to her and work things out, please." Joe pulled back and looked into her eyes "And if you need anything at all call any of us we will get what you need."

"Thank you Joe and I will on all accounts." At that moment they heard the bed being rolled down the hall way.

"I'm out of here give you guys some time" Before Olivia could tell him that she was in a coma he ran out the door and was gone.

A few seconds later a bed was gently maneuvered into the room and a shell of a woman that Olivia knew and loved laid in the bed. Except for the sunken facial features Olivia wasn't sure that it was Mary. There was a tube draining blood out of her left chest area. She had numerous tubes and wires all over her face and chest. She was a pale almost ghost white compared to her normal tan color. She looked as if she was a good fifty pounds lighter and had lost a good amount of muscle mass. How was she ever going to recover from this? Olivia asked herself as she leaned against the window trying to stay out of everyone's way while they hooked up all needed equipment. Once everything was hooked up Casey turned to Olivia

"Listen she will be out for about four days. After that we will stop the drug induced coma but it will be up to her to pull out of it. Do what ever you have to do. There has been studies that have proven that a patient can hear you and understand what you say to them when they are in a coma. So on that note read to her, talk to her, try to work her muscles so she won't get worse ok."

Olivia nodded and gently sat on the bed taking Mary's hand into hers. "Hey baby, I'm here. Always will be." She leaned close to Mary's face and whispered "I love you " into her ear and gently kissed her cheek. "What are her odds Casey?"

"Right now we are looking at about 60/40. 60% she won't survive. She should have already been dead. But you know the old saying. Only the good die young. So Mary will live forever, I promise that."

A smile played across Olivia's lips "Amen"

"Listen I'm gonna go finish up some rounds. I sent everyone out for dinner but they will probably be back shortly. Melinda and Fin went back to your house to pack you a bag and see if the department did a good job at securing your door. I have one of the pull out chair/beds from Labor and Delivery being brought down to you along with pillows and blankets. At no time will you be told to leave so don't worry about that. If you need anything have someone page me." Casey turned to leave.

"Hey Casey" Olivia said stopping Casey "Thank you for everything. Especially after what I did today."

"Liv anytime and forget earlier. Trust me if I was in your shoes and thought you were sleeping with Mary I would have hit you to." With that said Casey left the room to finish her shift so she could be here if Olivia needed her.

Olivia moved the chair closer to the bed so she could hold Mary's hand. "Ok sweetheart what do you want to watch?" Olivia asked as she began channel surfing. "Here you go honey. It's the classic car auction you love to watch. That looks like the mustang you were restoring the first time we made love" Olivia couldn't help but smile as she drifted back to that day.

_It had been a very bad case involving a six year old girl and her father. His only answer for molesting her was that mom worked nights and he had needs. She so badly wanted to chop his penis off blend it up and spoon feed it to him. Then he had the nerve to want a plea deal where he would be out in three years. He couldn't do prison was his reasoning. Everyone was going for drinks but she had passed. Told Elliot that she was going home and taking a shower until hot water ran out. He nodded and said see you in the morning._

_Instead of going home her car seemed to have automatically driven itself over to Mary's house. She hadn't realized she had even driven there until she stopped the car and got out. Mary's 2009 Mustang was in the drive way so she knew she was home. She had heard a noise around back and jumped the fence to get to her work shop. She had her 1969 Convertible Mustang up on blocks working on the underneath. She rolled out from underneath the car and sat up. She was wearing a very form fitting gray wife beater and black Dickie pants that was just as formed fitting. One look at me and all she said was give me five minutes to wash up go inside I'll be there in a few. I turned and wandered aimlessly to the house and poured my self a drink. She followed me in a few minutes later and pulled me on to the couch with her. She had wrapped her arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Want to tell me about it?" She had asked. I shook my head no as I began to cry. She pulled me even closer and began to rock me in her arms. "Baby its ok. Let it all out I'm here." I felt so embarrassed that I had lost it in front of her. I turned to face her. I could feel the blush creeping up both my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose it." _

"_Everyone needs to let go every now and then Liv" She had whispered as she brushed the hair out of my eyes and wiped my tears from my cheek. There was no mistaking the desire and want in her eyes. I realized then that I wanted nothing more that to be made love to by her. I leaned forward and gently began kissing her. She had opened her lips inviting me in to explore at my leisure. Explore I did. I ran my tongue over her lips and teeth. She pressed against me and I lost it then. Make love to me I whispered._

_Never breaking contact she had gotten up and scooped me in her arms. She was so careful carrying me to the bedroom. She finally quit kissing me as she went to lay me on the bed. Not because she wanted to but for need of oxygen. She kept her eyes on mine as she began to unbutton my blouse. "Say the word baby and I stop." My heart was beating so fast I knew she had to hear it. _

_She was slowly removing my shirt when I heard her gasp. I suddenly became nervous and scared. It was as if she could sense it. "Relax baby. I knew you would be beautiful but …baby your body is perfect." That comment gave me a renounced confidence. I lifted her shirt off her and ran my hands over her muscular and taut stomach. She laid me against the pillows. "Its all you baby" she whispered as she took my left nipple in her mouth. I gasped. It felt as if electricity had shot through my chest. She took her right hand and began to rub my right nipple. I arched my back begging for more contact._

_She began to lay kisses all over me after each one telling me how beautiful I was. This woman was incredible in bed._

_She released my belt and undid my pants. She had her hands in them ready to pull them off when she stopped and looked at me. "You sure?" I tried to swallow and speak but it felt as if my throat was closed up. I nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. She groaned into my mouth and ripped my pants right off me. The only barrier left between us was my black lacy panties. I knew she was leaving them on to make me more comfortable and a chance to back out if I wanted to. I arched my hips up and yanked the thin fabric off me. "Make Love to Me"_

_I could see that Mary was trying to take her time and keep control of her self. I pulled her down on top of me. "I want to feel you inside me" She groaned into my shoulder as she answered my request. She had gently inserted one finger in ever so slowly and stopped moving. "Baby please" I said in a hoarse whisper arching my body trying to get more of her. _

"_Easy baby. Give your body time to adjust" She said as she inserted a second finger . I looked up at her I could see how hard she was trying to keep control. She has tried several times to have sex…no make love to me and I always shot her down. Now she was getting her chance and she wasn't about to risk me saying no or hurting me._

_I began to rock my hips against her hand. Letting her know I was ready. God she was amazing. She reciprocated by increasing the tempo. My hands were all over body clawing her, screaming her name, begging for more. She claimed my lips with hers as she inserted a third finger in me. I gasped at the stretching I felt. She pulled back and stopped moving "Too much baby?" I shook my head no "Please don't stop Mar"_

_She took my left nipple in her mouth and began teasing it with her teeth while she stroked in and out of me. Curving her fingers in all the right areas. _

"_Oh god Mary I'm so close"_

_That seemed to change everything in her demeanor. She began to thrust faster and harder. At times almost too hard. "Ride it out baby" she whispered in my ear as I began to scream. The waves crashing over my body was so intense. They shook me to the core. "Just breath and ride it out baby" She kept repeating. I slowly began to breath again and relax. "Take a deep breath baby" She whispered into my ear. I did as she asked and she slowly removed her fingers from in me. I instantly felt as if something was missing and my body was aching for her fingers to return. She wrapped me in her arms and pulled me close. "You ok. I wasn't too rough at the end was I?" _

"_Baby you were perfect" I whispered as I reached up and begin to kiss her. Trying my best to show her how I felt with out words. "I could say the same about you " She managed to get in between kisses. "Come here Liv just relax and I'll hold you" I did as she said and snuggled into her body. I had never felt as safe and loved as I did at that moment. I knew then I was totally in love with this woman. The shock of the statement made my body jerk. "Its ok baby I have you nothing is going to get you. Just sleep." She said as she pulled me closer to her and kissed the top of my head "Just sleep baby" she repeated. Sleep I did. _

"Ma'am we have the chair/bed from labor and delivery for you" An orderly at the door said snatching her out of her memory. "What side of the bed would you like it on?"

"On this side please" I said as I stood and began to move the chair I was sitting in.

"It's ok ma'am I'll get that for you." The orderly said as he lifted the chair with ease and moved it tot the other side of Mary. He rolled the chair/bed over to where the Chair had been. "Ok when you are ready to lay down pull on this strap right here. It will pull out to a make shift bed. Here are some sheets, blankets and pillows for you. If you need anything else let us know." He said as he quickly retreated out of the room.

I pulled the chair out and began to make it into a bed. I didn't want to fall asleep in the chair sitting up. Once it was made I laid back in it and drifted off to sleep.

I was suddenly awakened to the sound of a machine making one constant beep sound. I felt myself and the chair being shoved against the window. That motion jerked me awake and I was on my feet with my gun trained on the people in the room. "Quick give me the paddles and charge to 360" I heard a familiar voice shouting. That's when everything came into focus. Mary was coding again and it was Casey who had shoved me away. I shoved myself as much against the window as I could to stay out of the way. When I saw her body jumped I shouted. A nurse turned to me as if she just realized I was there. "Ma'am we need you to leave the room" She ordered as she grabbed me by the elbow.

"She stays" I heard Casey shout as she ordered an amp of epi. She shoved the needle into her Iv and slowly pushed the liquid. "Recharge the paddle to 360"

"Damn it Mary" I was shouting through my tears "Don't you leave me. I love you and need you." It was as if she heard me. Slowly a heart beat returned on the monitor and seemed to gain strength. I took a deep breath as everyone stepped back ready to start again if the capture didn't hold. Her heart beat seemed to grow in strength. Everyone sighed and began to leave the room. Casey began to check her over and listen to her heart with her stethoscope.

"What happened?"

"Not sure, liv. She seems to be ok now though. She walked around to the make shift bed I had been laying in and scooted it back to Mary's side. "Here lay back down and sleep some more"

"I can't sleep now, Casey"

"Minus well get comfortable then. It looks like it may be a long night." Casey said as she retook her chair on the other side. She had taken another chair from another room and made herself a make shift bed also.

"How long have you been here?"

Casey glanced at her watch. "Almost five hours now. You were out when I came back. Fin left your bag in the closet and there is some dinner over by the sink. No one wanted to wake you up."

"Thank you"

"No problem" Casey said as she started to sit back "Damn it" She shouted as she jumped and hit a button on the wall. "Olivia get out of the way" Was the last thing I heard as everyone hustled back into the room. Mary was flat lining again. I curled up on the window seal and began to pray. "Please don't take her" I whispered over and over again.


	15. Chapter 15

Casey was working fast at trying to recapture Mary's heartbeat. It seemed like an eternity hearing her shout out orders, inject Mary with medicine, and shocking her body as needed. Finally I heard someone say she's back. I looked over at the monitor and saw the blips on the screen indicating a heart beat. God please let her make it I kept praying silently. Everyone slowly began to leave the room once they knew she was somewhat stable. At least for now.

"Olivia" Casey said getting my attention "I'm going to be honest with you. It's not looking that good for Mary. I'm gonna leave the room for a few minutes give you a chance to talk to her. Say what needs to be said"

"What are the…" I couldn't complete my question

Casey looked at me with tears in her eyes "Every time she codes her chances go down. I'm not sure how much more her body can take. Say what needs to be said."

I nodded at her and walked up and sat on the bed holding Mary's hand in mine. I tried to look for the words I wanted to say. "Well Mary, you know I'm not too good for words when it comes to things like this. I love you. I have since that first time I saw you sitting at your desk. Your smile. God I love that smile. How a simple touch on my back would make everything seem ok after a bad case." She took a ragged breath in "Listen I know I haven't been there for you in the way I should have. There was times I spent way to much time at the precinct when I should have been home with you. At times I started fights just to fight I believe. But then again the make up sex was incredible. Look I don't know if I will be able to go on without you. Please baby fight for me. Fight for me and I'll do what ever you want. Hell I'll quit the department so I will be home for you every night."

"You know she would never allow that" a familiar voice said from the door way.

Olivia stood up and rushed into the open waiting arms "Oh stabler we've lost her several times."

"I know Casey just briefed me. Listen she's a fighter. She will survive."

Olivia began pounding her fists on his chest "I wish everyone would quit saying that. Quit sugar coating everything."

"Hey take every moment you can, Liv. Even if she never wakes again you were able to spend the last few moments of her life with her. That's what got me through Kathy's death." He grabbed her by the elbow and guided her to the bed. He gently moved Mary over to allow enough room for Olivia to get in "Hold your wife. Let her feel you're here. Kiss her, talk to her, do what ever comes to you."

Olivia laid next to Mary and wrapped her arms around her. This was a change of pace. Mary was the one who did the holding. She was the rock to lean on. "I'm here baby" she whispered as she placed a gently kiss on her cheek and laid her head on her shoulder. In no time at all Olivia was sound asleep beside Mary. Stabler quietly snuck out and hunted down Casey and Megan.

"Hey guys" Stabler said as he walked up and pulled his wife to him and kissed her. "Olivia is asleep now. I made room on Mary's bed for her."

"That's good." Casey answered

Stabler turned Megan around to face him "hey honey I'm gonna stay here with Olivia. I'm gonna sleep in the little bed next to Mary's bed ok. I promise to make it up to you"

Megan stood on her toes and kissed her husband "Baby get Olivia through this. You have nothing to make up to me." She turned to face Casey. "Do you think I can get a pillow and blanket and crash in the waiting room.

"Sure" Casey said as she turned to get the needed items.

"Honey there's no reason for all of us to be uncomfortable and lacking sleep."

"I know El, but if anything happens to Mary throughout the night Olivia is going to need everyone. I want to be part of that everyone. I have never walked down the road she's facing like you have but I do have a good shoulder to cry on If she doesn't want the guys to see her weak."

"You have a point sweetheart."

"Here you go Megan." Casey said as she re entered the waiting room. I hope this will do."

"Its perfect Casey I appreciate it." Megan said as she took the items from Casey "Now both of you get in there to her." With that said Megan began turning the couch into a make shift bed as Stabler and Casey walked quietly into Mary's room.

"Liv, honey. Olivia time to get up." Stabler was saying as he gently rubbed her back.

"mmmh what time is it?" Olivia asked groggily

"Its nine am. Mary made it through the night but the doctors need to check her over."

"Let them"

"You have to get out of bed for them to do that sweetie."

Olivia carefully removed herself from Mary and stood to the side for the doctors to examine her.

About ten minutes into the examination everyone was kicked from the room so they could change her dressings. Olivia paced outside the room. "What is taking so long?"

"It takes time to do these things. Besides they have to be careful the last thing we need right now is for her to get an infection." Megan said putting a hand on Liv's shoulder.

The doctors exited Mary's room and walked up to Olivia. "You have a hell of a wife. She made It through the night. If she makes it through the next twenty-four hours she should survive."

"Thank you doctors" Olivia said shaking each doctors hand.

"But please remember we will keep her in the coma for about three more days and then her waking up will be totally up to her."

"I understand. Can I go back in now."

"Sure help yourself"

Olivia thanked everyone again and walked back into Mary's room and sat on the bed. "They gave you a good review honey. If you make it through the next twenty-four hours you should make it." Olivia leaned down and kissed Mary's forehead "We all know you will. Your too mean to die. Hell the devil is afraid you are going to take over."

Olivia sat and stared at Mary for a few minutes. She seemed to be getting more color to her face now. That had to be a good sign. "Honey I am going to jump in your shower. Feel free to join me if you want" Olivia laughed at the last statement as she grabbed her bag "Who are we kidding you would be in here so fast if you could"

The hot water felt great on her body. She liked the feel of the pulsating shower head working wonders on her shoulders. After a few more minutes of a shower massage she washed her body and hair. As she was getting out and drying off she heard someone in the room with Mary. She figured it was another nurse taking vitals again. That was until she heard them speak. It was Stabler.

"You know that woman loves you more than anything in the world. I'm not stupid I knew you guys were having problems before I left for my honeymoon. I suggest you survive this wake up and come clean. I know Olivia she is forgiving. I also know you well enough that you would not cheat on her. I have no clue what the secret is but time to come clean."

"hey El when do you come in" Olivia asked as she walked out of the bathroom. She could tell she took him by surprise

"Umm..just a few minutes ago. I didn't know you were in the shower."

"Yeah I decided I better grab one while I can."

"Sounds good. Do you want to grab some breakfast?"

"I'd love to but I don't want to leave her side I have twenty-four more hours before we are out of the woods."

"I understand. How about we run to the cafeteria and bring it back."

"El.." Olivia started to say but was cut off

"Ten minutes max. Besides she would want you to walk around."

"Straight there and back?"

"Yes"

"Fine." Olivia faced Mary "Honey I'll be back in about ten minutes. I love you." She blew a kiss to Mary. When Olivia turned around Elliot was standing there with one of his shit eating grins. "One word and I will castrate you."

"No problem. Secrets safe with me." He laughed as he closed the door and guided her to the elevators.

Once the doors were closed Stabler turned Benson to face him "So you want to tell me what has been going on?"

"What's to tell?"

"Like why your fighting or separated."

"Don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know Benson its my understanding that you were the one who kicked her out."

"For the record I did not kick her out. She left me the house. Second she would never give me a straight answer when I asked her questions. Everyone I have talked to in the last day or so has swore I couldn't be farther from the truth. But no one will tell me what the truth is."

"Well she will be bed bound for a while, now is a good of time as any to figure it out."

"I plan to. Trust me. When I heard Melinda shout she's coding I knew then I would do whatever it took to fix my marriage."

"Good. Now I have another question?"

"What is it El?"

"When are you guys gonna make me a uncle?"

Olivia playfully punched Elliot in the arm. "El that is none of your business. Besides I don't think we need to bring a child into this."

"I do."

"Well then work at it with Megan."

"Oh I am" he replied as he wagged his eyebrows at her.

"God help us all" Was all Olivia could say as she walked to the cashier with her cereal and coffee.

In no time at all they were back in Mary's room eating their breakfast and watching the Drs on TV. They both sat back in silence and relaxed the best they could. When the Drs. Went off Elliot stood and stretched "Listen I'm gonna run home shower change and all that. I'm gonna swing by and give Cragen an update also. Do you need anything while I'm out"

Olivia thought for a few minutes "There's a few case files on top my desk and some dd-5's that need to be finished in my top drawer. Will you bring those to me?"

"Sure but are you sure you want to be working right now."

"Elliot there's only so much TV one can watch. Mine as well get caught up while I can."

"Sure thing I'll bring them when I come back later. Any preference for lunch?"

"Nope surprise me."

"Sure thing." Stabler said as he pulled his coat on. "Call me if there is any change."

"I will." Olivia said as she watched him shut the door.


	16. Chapter 16

Elliot returned around three with all the items Olivia had requested. He couldn't help but laugh when he walked in the room. Olivia was stretched out on the make shift bed reading a Patricia Cornwell book out loud to Mary.

"What do you find so funny, mister?" She asked him with her famous scow on her face.

"Nothing." Stabler answered grinning.

"Then enlighten me and tell me why you laughed and are smiling like the cat who ate the canary?"

"Just the sight of you reading to Mary. Especially a crime novel. Don't you get enough of that in real life."

"Trust me I do" Olivia answered as she stood and stretched "But after the news there's only soap operas on. If I want drama I'd take a close inspection of my life. Oprah came on but it had a group of actors from the new hit show called Special Victims Unit. I don't need high priced actors telling me about my job. So I strolled down to the gift shop when Casey visited on her lunch break."

"And chose a crime novel to occupy your time?"

"I had some big choices. Had a home and Garden Magazine, People Magazine with Portia De Rossi talking about how she was 82 pounds, and the National Enquirer with my son was born with two heads. In the way of books it was this, a romance novel, and Jillian Michaels how to jump start weight loss. So this won."

Now Stabler was really laughing. "Then it's a good thing I brought the case files and DD-5's you wanted."

"Yes, thank you. Although I do recommend this book so far its pretty good."

"Oh I know Megan reads those in her spare time." Stabler sat the files he had been holding on the window seal and handed Olivia a white bag that had grease stains on the bottom.

"Really El, the hot dog vendor on fifth street?"

"Hey he's got good hot dogs. I got you two with everything extra relish. Megan is parking the car and bringing you two diet sodas and a bag of ranch Doritos."

Olivia couldn't help but smile at him "Thank you for trying to make this as easy as possible."

"Hey that's what partners are for. So any news on our stubborn patient?"

"No she's remained stable. Thank god." Olivia said as she leaned down and tucked the blanket around Mary's waist. "The nurse showed me some exercises I could do on her legs and arms. So we did those about two hours ago. She said to do them at least twice a day. I'll do them again before I go to bed."

"That's good" Stabler answered as he heard the door opening behind him. They both looked up and saw Megan quietly entering the room.

"Hey liv, How is she doing?" Megan asked handing Olivia the chips and drinks

"She's good. She's remained stable. We have been doing exercises that the nurse showed me to help keep the muscular definition in her legs and arms."

"That's good honey" She said enveloping Olivia in a hug

"I'm really sorry you guys cut your honeymoon short"

Megan lifted Olivia's chin till she was looking her eye to eye "Olivia you have nothing to be sorry about. There is no place we would rather be than right here right now. Besides we both know you would have done the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot."

"Yeah but…" Olivia started to say but was interrupted by a knock at the door "Come in"

"Up to some visitors?" Munch asked as he poked his head around the door

"Sure come on in."

Munch, Fin, and Captain Cragen all walked in. "Anything new?" They all asked in unison

"No she's remaining stable"

"Thank god. Do you need anything?" Cragen asked

"No I'm good. Thank you guys for stopping by"

"We're here if you need us." Munch said as he patted her on the back. Munch's way of saying I love you and do anything for you.

"Thanks Munch, Capt. Fin can I ask you a question real quick?"

Fin nodded he knew what was coming he was dreading it

"Why did you.." Fin cut Olivia off

"She kicked the door in. I didn't know it was her. I saw the barrel of the gun and hid to the side. When she passed me I tackled her. I never realized it was her until what Mel was yelling made sense to me. I'm really sorry Liv. I would never hurt her" Fin had tears in his eyes.

"It's ok man. I didn't know what happened. I was just wondering" Olivia hugged him close to her "Thank you for protecting me."

"Any time baby girl."

"Alright everyone" Cragen said as he clapped his hands together "Let's go. Give these ladies some time alone."

Everyone said their goodbyes and gathered their things. Megan walked up to Olivia "Hey listen I know the guys Idea of a good meal." Nodding in the direction of the greasy bag "So here is the number to a deli down the street just tell them what you want and to charge it to me. They have excellent salads and fully loaded bake potatoes"

"Thank you Megan"

Mary had made it through the next night with no problems. A little after nine- thirty the doctors had told everyone that they believed she was totally out of the woods. They had never seen someone bounce back the way she had. In two more days they would stop giving her the medicine that was keeping her asleep. Then the true test would come. Did she have the will to come out of the coma.

They came in on the Saturday and removed the ventilator. They was giving Mary a chance to breath on her on. It took about three minutes for Mary to take her first breath on her on. Everyone let out the breath they had been holding. "That's a good sign Liv" Casey told her as she cleaned off the tape residue around her mouth. Olivia couldn't answer for the knot in her throat. She wasn't a religious person but it did seem as if all her prayers were being answered. "Hopefully she will slowly start to come to now. Please remember there is a large amount of pain meds going through her so she may say off the wall things" Olivia just nodded not really hearing what Casey had tried to tell her she was just thankful Mary was pulling through.

The next few days went by without anything happening. Olivia took that time to catch up on work and re-evaluate some things in her life. Mary had asked her about having kids together. Olivia had refused. Stating that her job was two demanding and she would not be a fit mother. Mary was just as determined that Olivia would be a great mother. Now she was thinking it wasn't such a bad idea.

The only other thing they ever seemed to fight over was her work schedule. She had cut back a lot when they had married but she could have cut back more. There was times she could have been gone by seven but stayed till eleven in hopes that something would break in a case. She had a phone the Captain would have called if something broke. Elliot spent many nights telling her to go home. Hours like this destroys a marriage. Her only response was Mary had the same job. She knew she was lying. Mary did everything in her power to be home at a decent hour for her. Why did she stay so late? It was simple. There was times she was afraid to go home. She would see the demons that she saw everyday in everything she looked at. She decided she was going to change that too. If she could escape at five she was leaving at five.

"Sara, Sara" A raspy voice kept repeating. It jolted Olivia out of her thoughts. She rushed to Mary's side. "Honey, it's liv. I'm here"

"No Sara where is Sara?"

Tears sprang in Olivia's eyes. She was asking for her first wife. "Baby don't you remember?"

"Sara" She whispered again as she drifted back into the unconscious world she stayed in.

"oh baby" Olivia whispered as she kissed her forehead. She knew how much Mary still loved her first wife. That was no secret between them. Olivia had made it a point to make sure that Mary still celebrated Sara's birthday, their wedding anniversary, their son John's birthday. Mary would always kiss her and tell her she was one amazing woman. She would always remind her that she could show her how amazing in a few days when she was ready. Show her Mary did.

Once Olivia was sure Mary was back asleep she walked out into the hallway. "I'm gonna run down to the cafeteria if she wakes call me immediately" She informed the nurse.

"Sure will Olivia" Everyone was becoming first name basis with her.

Olivia was waiting to check out when she heard someone behind her "So how she coming along?"

Olivia turned around and there was Casey. She looked so exhausted. Olivia knew she wasn't leaving in case anything happened. She felt a twinge of guilt for that reason.

"Good. She was just calling for Sara."

"Liv she will know who you are when she wakes."

Olivia laughed the only one who knew of their arrangement concerning Sara was Fin. Those were the night that she went to the club with Fin and crashed at his house so Mary could have her space. "I know Casey. There are still times she calls for Sara in her sleep. It ok. She loves her and had a child with her."

"Loved her Olivia"

"No a part of her still loves her. A part of her always will Casey. That I'm ok with."

"I'm glad. You want to sit down here or go back to the room?"

"I'm gonna go back to the room. She's starting to talk in her sleep now. Hopefully she will come too soon." She turned and walked toward the elevators "Oh and Casey"

"yes"

"Go home tonight. Get a good nights sleep. God knows you deserve it."

Casey agreed with her knowing good and well she would sleep in the doctors area again. She will sleep there until Mary was awake.


	17. Chapter 17

Olivia was smiled and waved at the nurses as she got off the elevator. Letting them know she was back. They waved in acknowledgement. She walked in Mary's room and settled into the chair grabbing the book she had bought days before. "Mine as well read since there's nothing on TV and I'm caught up with my work" She said aloud.

Olivia was almost finished with chapter 15 when she heard a moan. She looked up from her book and saw that Mary was starting to sweat and beginning to thrash around. "Poor baby your having another nightmare" Olivia said as she sat on Mary's bed patting her forehead with a washcloth.

"No Sara just wait twenty minutes and we will all go together." Mary said through clenched teeth. "You know if I believed in hitting women I'd deck you right now."

Tears began to fall down Olivia's face. She wasn't upset that Mary was dreaming or talking to Sara. It hurt her because it tore Mary apart.

"You know woman there are times I just want to wrap my hands around your throat and squeeze."

Olivia couldn't help but laugh out loud. How many times had Mary said that to her when she was working herself to the bone or they were just fighting? Mary never would physically hurt her though. She remembers Mary's face the first time she said it.

"_Come on just ask Captain Cragen for the weekend off. What will it hurt for you to take some time off? Let's go away for the weekend."_

"_I can't Mary and you know that."_

"_Really why?" Mary was starting to sound mad._

"_Because if a case gets called in..."_

"_There are three other detectives that work at the 1-6."_

"_Yeah but I'm the only woman. We both know a rape victim would rather talk to a woman"_

"_But the men have been highly trained. They will survived without you one weekend"_

"_No Mary and that's that"_

"_You know woman there are times I just want to wrap my hands around your throat and squeeze."_

_I had been looking away when she had first said it but I snapped my head up to look at her. She was grinning ear to ear and slowly advancing toward me. I had backed up until I hit the wall._

"_Good" She said trapping against the wall. She looked into my eyes and must have seen something because she stopped moving. "Baby you know I was only kidding. I would never hurt you right?"_

_I could only nod. I didn't trust my voice she was too close for me to think._

_She gently rubbed her right thumb against my left cheek. The simple contact left me silently begging for more. "I will never raise a hand to you. That's not me" She whispered as she lowered her mouth to mine. Stopping just inches away._

_I hated it when she did that I grabbed her by the neck and pulled her the rest of the way. It was only a matter of seconds before she was carrying me to the bedroom. God I love this woman. I said to myself._

_She had just laid me down on the bed and was beginning to remove my clothing slowly and carefully. She had leaned down and took my left nipple in her mouth causing me to gasp. I arched my back wanting more contact with her. She brought her right hand up and began to rub my right nipple. _

"_Mary please" I begged_

_She had laughed that deep laugh in the back of her throat. The one that sent moisture pouring out of me "Want me to stop?" She asked pulling away and starting to give some distance between us._

_Stop. What? I was screaming in my head. I grabbed her and pulled her back on top of me. "No. I want you to make love to me."_

_She pulled back and looked me in the eyes. Only a fool could miss read what was there. The love that showed through her eyes sent shock waves to my core. She had started at my neck and began to slowly trail kisses down my body. She stopped right before she reached my "patch of heaven" as she called it. She raised her head to look at me. I knew what she was doing. She was asking permission to continue. We had been lovers for almost four months by now and every time she asked permission to continue. I knew if I told her no she would stop and gather me in her arms and hold me until I slept. She had done it before._

_I reached down with my hands and pulled her back up to me to kiss her. I pulled away from her mouth and trailed small kisses to her ear. I nibbled on her ear before whispering "I'm all yours baby." That simple statement sent chills all over her body. My next statement shook her to the core "I love you Mary Blackwood" It was the first time I had ever told her._

_She had become totally still over me. I was so scared I had done something wrong. I pulled back to look into her eyes but she had them closed. "Oh god what did I do" I didn't realized I had spoken out loud till she responded._

"_Made me the happiest woman" She whispered as she turned my head to face her "Didn't mean to scare there. I thought I was hearing things at first."_

"_Oh" Was all I had managed to get out when I saw the tears in her eyes_

"_Olivia Benson I have loved you from the moment I met you. I just didn't think you would want to risk loving me. You managed to knock down the proverbial wall that I had built up after Sara. All that with your smile. You're an amazing woman. One that I certainly don't deserve but want so bad. You make sure I always have my time when I need it for Sara and John. You know most women would have bolted by now or got tired of sharing them with ghosts."_

_I pulled her close to me and rubbed her back. "I am willing to share you with them any time. They were your family before me. Take all the time you need for them. Anytime you need to baby. I love you. Just always come back to me. Besides its me that don't deserve you"_

"_I will always come back. Trust me it is so the other way around. You deserve someone who can give you themselves one hundred percent. I can't" She said before she took my mouth in hers in a kiss that seemed to have shook my world more than ever before..._

"Sara just wait" Mary was screaming jolting me out of my memory.

"Baby its Liv its ok. I'm here." I said rubbing her face. I almost fell off the bed when Mary sat straight up and opened her eyes.

"Hey you" I said smiling at her "You ok?"

"Ok? Ok. No I'm not my family is dead." She yelled at me.

"I know sweetie" Realizing she was still trapped in her nightmare. "Everything will work out. We're here for you."

"Screw you" She screamed right before her hand went across Olivia's cheek "You should have let me die." Was the last words out of her mouth before she fell back asleep.

"I see you have met the violent Mary after Sara's death." a voice behind me spoke.

I turned to face the voice wiping the tears from my face as I did. "Can I help you?" I asked in a quivering voice.

The woman stepped forward and extended her hand "I'm special agent Maria Ramirez with the DEA. I just got back in town and heard that Mary was in the hospital. Mind telling me why there aren't agents guarding her door?"

"I'm Olivia Benson Blackwood, her wife. Why does she need agents guarding her door?" Olivia answered shaking the extended hand.

"She hasn't told you?"

"My guess would be no since I'm asking you?"

"May I sit?" Maria asked pointing to the chair.

Olivia shook her head yes but remained standing where she was and crossed her arms. "I'll ask you again why she needs agents guarding her."

"How did she get injured?" Maria asked.

"I'm not answering one question from you till you answer mine. Now answer it."

Maria took a deep breath. Mary had told her not to tell Olivia anything. She had assumed she did when she saw her in her room. "She is going to be pissed if I tell you."

"Trust me" Olivia said through clenched teeth "She is the least of your worries right now."

"Fine but don't be too mad at her. Ok."

"Just tell me now"

"We caught the man who planted the bomb that killed Sara and John. For him to go away for murder Mary has to testify."

"Ok so. That's usually how it works. I am a detective"

"Yeah but we go to trial in four months and to try and stop her from testifying Cortez has put a contract hit out on you and Mary. He knows if Mary is dead no murder trial and if he threatens another woman she loves she'll back down this time. She knows to take his threats serious."

"Wait what. There's a hit out on me and her"

"Yes."

"She never said anything to me."

"Of course she wouldn't. She's trying to protect you. When I called a few weeks ago. She yelled at me for calling at her at home. Saying you might answer. Let me tell you when she went into the office that was an ass chewing I could have lived without."

"That was you she said not to call here my wife might answer?"

"Yes ma'am"

"Wow. I overheard that part and when I questioned her she said there's nothing I need to worry myself with."

"That's pretty much the line I got along with a little extra."

"Like what?"

"Whatever you do don't tell her I told you ok?"

"I won't I promise."

"I told her that you needed to know. She said no it was her fault that you were in danger and if she has to lie to you to keep you safe it would be worth it. To know you were alive and safe. I told her any woman would only take so much before they packed and left. Tell you before you did because you were an amazing catch. Hell you got her to settle down again."

Olivia laughed at that last statement "it's more like she got me to settle down. I did leave though. I thought she was cheating. I didn't want to be, more like no I will not be with an unfaithful partner."

Maria laughed so hard there was tears coming from her eyes. "Mary cheat. God I wish that was a fault of hers. Listen the one thing I learned the short time I was with her is that if she's with you that's it. I wish there were more women out there like her. But I digress, pack your stuff and move back home. Mary loves you. Hell I could hear the love in her voice over the phone. It's sickening I swear."

"You two dated?"

"Out of what I just said that's what you caught?"

"No I caught other things but that's the major item I caught."

"Yes we dated more like a two night stand a few months after Sara was killed. Back then she only went out with women if she needed something if you understand my meaning."

"I do. I know a little of that part of her life. Most of it she keeps from me. Said if I knew half the things she did I would have never gave her a chance."

"She's probably right. There were times she was violent and basically she used women."

"Mary would never hit anyone especially a woman."

"Ok you tell yourself that. You should have been there when Sara died. She was hurting and was going to make everyone else hurt. There were times she succeeded to ."

"Wow. Just don't see that in her."

"Not since she met you. There was something about you that calmed her. She didn't want to fight any more. All of us were so happy. You realize that just a few months before she met you she bought a one way ticket to Mexico. She had narrowed her search for Cortez down to two compounds. She was going there to kill him or be killed she didn't care which one."

"You stopped her?"

"In Mexico. We had an agent waiting at the airport when she arrived. He escorted her to a waiting plane and flew her back to New York. She was so pissed we got in a knock down drag out fist fight at the station."

"I must say thank you. If you didn't stop her I would have never met her."

"Anytime. Just keep her happy."

"I will. I promise." Olivia said as she glanced in the mirror and saw a bruise forming.

"Now I have answered your questions please answer mine. How did she wind up in the hospital?"

"Apparently she was shot while we were separated. No one ever told me. From what Joe told me a few days ago she was after a man with ties to the Russian mob. When she got near he tackled her and shot her with her own weapon."

"Is the guy alive?"

Olivia laughed "Hell no. Joe said it was a perfect kill shot. IAB has already cleared her."

"So she's been in a coma every since?"

"Oh no a few days ago she shows up to the house kicks our door in with her gun drawn. A co-worker was over and hid behind a wall. He didn't realize it was her and jumped her. He punched her right at the shot sight and busted the stitches. Apparently for the second time that day. Our Medical examiner was at the house to and started to work on her. She coded a few times and almost didn't make it."

"But she's doing better?"  
"Well it's up to her to wake up now. Every once in a while she will have a dream about Sara or call out for her but that's about it. Let me ask you another question."

"Sure anything."

"Is the contract hit the reason why she kicked in our door and ran in with her gun pulled?"

"Truthfully I don't know. I haven't talked to Mary in about two weeks. I would have to say yes though. Word must have gotten to her that you was in danger or something tipped her off to get home. That's something you will have to ask her when she comes to for the answer."

"Ok thank you for telling me everything and being truthful with me."

"No problem. Why don't you go and put some on ice on that. You gonna have a hell of a time explaining it to Mary when she comes to. My advice is don't tell her it was her. She will beat herself up till she dies for it."

"I think I will. Do you mind sitting here with her?"

"No not at all. Take your time."

"Thank you "Olivia said as she quietly closed the door behind her.

Once Olivia was out the door Maria went and sat on Mary's bed. "Hey you. Why did you kick in the door. Was someone getting close to Olivia? I wish you had called our office so I would know what was going on. I know you're going to really pissed at me but I told Olivia everything. I had told you and told you to tell her. You ever stop to think if you had told her we wouldn't be here right now. Plus she is one amazing woman to lose. You will never find another like her. Plus none of us wants the old Mary back. We all love the calm, relaxed, laid back woman you have become. If to keep that meant breaking your confidence. Well it's a small price to pay. One that is well worth it too." Maria was straightening the blankets around Mary when Olivia walked back in.

"Thank you."

"No problem Olivia. I'm gonna head out now. There will be two agents outside this door in about ten minutes. If you go anywhere one will be with you. Give me the names of the people you want to have access to this room without being stopped or interrogated."

"Thank you for the detail but I don't need one."

"Yes you do and you will have one rather you want it or not." Maria reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a business card "This is my card. It has all my numbers on it. If you flip it over that's my private cell. Call anytime day or night if you need anything. As soon as she comes too will you please call me."

"I will Maria. Thank you for telling me everything. I know Mary probably swore you to secrecy with a threat on your life not to tell me."

Maria smiled at her as she reached for the door handle "You have no clue." She answered as she started to walk out the door but a voice behind her stopped her in her tracks.


	18. Chapter 18

"Maria, Maria get to Olivia they got her. Do what it takes." Mary said coming starting to come to hearing Maria's voice.

"Mary just lay back and relax. Olivia is ok" Maria said rushing to Mary's side while looking at Olivia who seemed to be frozen to her spot.

"No they were at the house. Did I make it in time? I have to go and find her." Mary said as she was trying to get out of the bed.

Maria pushed Mary back on to the bed and Olivia ran to Mary's side.

"Baby I'm fine. I'm right here." Olivia said as she seemed to snap out of her trance and tried to calm Mary.

"They didn't hurt you did they? Mary asked looking Olivia up and down

"You know Fin and Melinda may do a lot of things but hurt me is not one of them."

"Fin? Melinda?" What are you talking about?"

"Honey do you remember what landed you back in the hospital?"

"No not really. The last thing I remember is talking to Fin and him hanging up when he heard our door bell."

"Tell you what let me get Casey in here to check you out and as soon as she's done I will answer all your questions providing you answer all of mine. Truthfully" Olivia turned toward Maria "Go tell the nurses that she's awake and page Dr. Novak"

Maria nodded and left the room. She returned a few minutes later "They will be here shortly". Looking from Mary to Olivia it was apparent that she interrupted something "I'm gonna leave now. If you need anything call."

"We will" Mary answered without taking her eyes off Olivia.

"So how is our patient doing?" Casey asked about fifteen minutes later when she walked through the door. "I can see quite well." Casey said with a smile as Olivia and Mary separated from their kiss. "So does this mean everything is worked out now guys?"

"Not yet" Mary replied "But we are getting there"

"I'm no psychiatrist but hopping right into bed will not solve anything."

"But it's a real good start" Mary said with a mischievous smile on her face.

"It may be a real good start but you need to talk with word other than like that baby harder or faster." Casey said laughing as Olivia's face turned blood red.

"At the moment that is the only words I want to hear"

"Mary just talk things out first. Don't want a repeat do we?"

"There will not be a repeat" Olivia answered firmly leaving no room for questions.

"Good. Now let me check you over" Casey said as she put her stethoscope on and began to listen to Mary's heartbeat and breathing. She checked her wound and redressed it also. "Well I have no clue how you did it but you survived where most people die. Take it easy for a few weeks. No more stunts like you pulled and you should be able to leave in about four days as long as everything goes well from here on out."

"Four days?" Mary asked

"Yes Mary four days and no I will not let you out sooner. So sit back and deal with it."

"Casey really four days trapped in this room with nothing to do."

"Oh you have something to do. You have a marriage to save. So on that note I will leave so you can start working on it."

"Goodbye Casey I'll talk to you later." Olivia said as Casey walked out the door. "So where should we start?" Olivia asked turning to face Mary.

"Tell me how I wound up back in the hospital."

"Ok. You remember you and Fin talking on the phone and him hanging up when the door bell rang"

"Yeah"

"Well it was Melinda that was ringing the door bell. Why I don't know. Apparently you jumped in the car and sped to the house. You kicked the door in and pulled your weapon. When you kicked the door in Fin decided to us the element of surprise and hide. Once you came around the corner he tackled you. Punched you right where you got shot which busted your stitches. Which I found out from Melinda that was the second time that day. Somewhere along the line of him punching you he rupuctured your spleen. Melinda started working on you,but you coded at home and when they got you here. They rushed you in to surgery and when you came out we almost lost you again. You finally made it through the forty eight hours. They took you off the ventilator that following Saturday. I have been here with you waiting on you to wake up."

Mary reached for Olivia and pulled her into her lap ignoring the pain that shot through her side and kissed her ever so gently. "Olivia Benson-Blackwood I have loved you since I met you and god knows I have missed you since I left you.."

"Baby I left you remember" Olivia interrupted her

"Because I chose to lie to you which essentially makes it my fault. I was not cheating on you baby. The man that killed Sara was caught and I have to testify in four months. To stop me from testifying he put a contract out on both of us. To threaten me fine but you." Tears started to fall from Mary's eyes "I can't stand to lose another woman I love to that bastard. Then when you thought I was cheating and left it was perfect. Not cause you thought I was cheating but because you left me. If we were separated there would be no need to kill you. It was a way I could keep you safe. One that was destroying me but a small price to pay to keep you safe."

"You were willing to let me think the worse of you, never talk to you again, and hate you to keep me safe?"

"You would be alive and safe. That was all that mattered to me baby."

"Did you ever think about coming and telling me?"

"Everyday. There was some days that I would pull up in front of the precient and sit there for a few minutes before driving away. I had to fight the urge to storm up there and take you in my arms and confess everything to you and kiss you till you forgave me. I just wanted to keep you safe. You understand that right?"

"I do Mary. But please understand I would rather be in danger and with you than to be safe and live my life without you. It was killing me too. There was times I wanted to go to you smack you till you told me who it was and then...well they would never find that body."

"Why did you not come in the day Casey sent you to the apartment. She called me told me you were coming over and she gave you her keys."

"I must have stood outside your door.."

"Not my door baby. that is Casey's door. My door is the one I kicked in."

"I know now. But anyways. I stood outside the door for at least fifteen minutes and I just couldn't bring myself to face you. I was so afraid that you would tell me that you didn't love me anymore or found someone who could do what you needed them to."

"What is it you think I need that you don't provide for me?"

"Someone who is home for you at night. Someone who isn't scared to pass their genes on and have children. Someone who wouldn't think of excuses to stay at work just so they didn't have to face the demons."

"You are home for me. I may beat you home most nights and dinner isn't sitting on the table but you come home to me. I would love to have a family with you but you don't want to which is perfectly fine by me. As long as I wake up next to you every morning ok. Don't stay at work to avoid the demons we see daily. Come home lets face them together. We can fall apart together."

"Well to answer all those I made some promises while you were out."

"I'm curious. They are?"

"Lets have kids. I turned out ok they should too. I am going to get home as soon as I can. Which means if I can escape at four I will. Then I decided I would do one even better. I am going to quit and become a stay at home wife for you. I'll raise our kids and keep the house for you. Dinner will be sitting on the table every night when you get home."

Mary started laughing. "Honey I can see you as a lot of things. Believe me, but a stay at home wife and mother sooooooooo not one of them. Being a detective is in your blood. face it we both know you would die if you didn't do it. If your one hundred percent sure about having children give me the phone so we can make an appointment at the fertility clinic. We can start tomorrow."

" In a hurry for kids Mary?"

"With you yes. Only if your sure. I don't want you to think I am pressuring you."

"Pressuring me is one thing you would never do." Olivia took a deep breath before continuing "I'm not going to lie. I'm scared. I'm so afraid that I will be a bad mother. With you by my side I'm willing to try. I just want.."

Mary took Olivia's lips with hers. The kiss was so gently and slow. she traced Olivia's lips with her tongue before entering her mouth. Once in their tongues danced like never before and Mary traced every inch of Olivia's mouth with her own. It was like their first kiss all over again but better. Mary slowly ran her hand up Olivia's shirt till she was stopped. "MMh baby" Mary moaned into Olivia's mouth.

It took all Olivia had to stop Mary. God knew how bad she wanted her to make love to her again but Mary couldn't. Not yet she needed to heal. "Baby when you are well enough we will go away and trust me I am all yours all weekend. I will not stop you at all."

"Baby I haven't had my hands on you in weeks and I feel great. Please" Mary said begging.

"Are you begging me Mary Blackwood"

Hell yes"

"Now that is a first but the answer is still NO." Olivia said as she untangled herself from

Mary. Receiving a protest from both her body and Mary. "If you want to continue this when you are released then I suggest that you follow doctors orders and lay back and relax."

"Since when have I followed a doctors order."

"Since now." Olivia said forcing Mary to lay back and tucking the covers in around her

"Now rest because believe me you are going to need all the energy you can get when you get out of her." Her voice husky with desire.

A huge grin went across Mary's face and her blue eyes turned even darker with desire at the implication "In that case for the first time ever I will follow orders."

It was only a matter of seconds before Mary was lightly snoring. Olivia grabbed her cell phone and exited the room. She had some very important calls to make.


	19. Chapter 19

"Stabler" a familiar voice barked into the phone.

"Hey it's me." Olivia answered

"What's up. DO you need anything? Has something happened?" Stabler asked his voice softening.

"No everything is great. She woke up Elliot."

"Oh god Liv. I'm so glad." Stabler said exhaling the breath he had been holding.

"Will you do me a favor and tell everyone?"

"it will be my honor. After work we will stop by and say hi. If you don't mind?"

"I would love that and I know Mary would too. Just remember to play nice I love her."

"I will Liv." Stabler said laughing.

"I'm going to call her Captain and let her know." Olivia snapped the phone shut and began to dial Mary's Captain's number

"Captain Nobles, Special Victims Unit" She answered

"Hey Captain it's Olivia."

"Olivia how is our Mary" Nobles asked with apprehension in her voice.

"She's great she came to a little while ago. She's resting now. The doctor says she'll have to stay about four more days. Other than that it's a miracle she's alive."

"Thank god. I will let everyone know. We will stop by later today if that's ok."

"Absolutely. Besides she will be happy to see everyone."

"we'll try to be there around seven ok."

"No problem. See you then." Olivia responded hanging the phone up and walked back in the

room. She walked over and made sure Mary was ok before settling into the chair. In no time at all she was asleep.

Mary laid in bed watching Olivia sleep. She was so peaceful when she slept. She knew she hadn't gotten much sleep and it was her fault. When Mary heard the door opening she reached as quickly as she could for Olivia's gun causing a searing pain in her side. "Son of a bitch" she cried out causing Olivia to jerk awake.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked jumping to her feet.

"Get down. Someone is coming in."

"Baby relax we are in a hospital you are safe."

"You don't know that Olivia now get down."

"Yes I do the agents that Maria sent over arrived about ten minutes after you were out. No one can enter this room but about ten people. We even have certain nurses assigned to you at all times. You are safe. WE ARE SAFE."

"That doesn't matter with Cortez. I love you, you know that but I really wish you would leave so I know you're safe."

"We had this discussion and it's closed. I will be by your side. When I said my vows I said for better or for worse. I meant it. Stop worrying about me."

"Excuse me Mrs. Blackwood?" The agent said at the door

"Yes" They both answered

"The 1-6 is here"

"Send them in." Mary answered

Everyone filled in slowly looking the two guards up and down as they did. They all had the question what the hell is going on, on their face. You could also tell no one wanted to ask. It was Stabler who finally stepped up.

"What's up with your armed escorts outside?"

"There is a contract hit on both of us. They are our security until Mary is released then we will have some staying with us until the trial is over."

Everyone looked back and forth at each other and then at Mary and Olivia. "What contract hit and what trial are you talking about?" Stabler asked again looking even more confused than before.

"I'm sorry. The man who killed Mary's first wife was caught and to stop her from testifying he put hits out on all of us."

Everyone nodded in understanding.

"Great to know. So Mary how are you feeling?" Munch asked breaking the silence.

"Like I have been ran over by a Mack truck."

"No Mack truck my friend. Just our fellow co-worker Fin, here" Munch answered smacking Fin on the back.

Fin stepped forward. Everyone could read the amount of guilt on his face. "Mary I'm really sorry. If I had known it was you…"

Mary stopped him by raising her hand "Fin enough. Don't feel guilty. I would like to thank you. You did what you had to, to protect Liv here. Even if that meant hospitalizing me so be it. I'm just glad you didn't use your gun. I know how good of a shot you are."

Fin nodded and leaned down and hugged Mary. "I'm glad you told her. It's been a while since I saw that glow on her face." He whispered in her ear.

They all sat around talking and sharing jokes for about an hour. Getting the full detail on how and why there was a hit on Olivia. They each swore that nothing would happen to her. They were working out a schedule so that one of them was always with her from here on out. Mary smiled at how much they were arguing about who was working when and for how long.

Olivia had finally had enough "Guys I have two DEA agents outside the door. I can't even walk two steps to the nurse's station without one by my side. I really think I'm covered. I appreciate it and all but no."

Cragen stepped forward "Benson there is no question here. You will have an extra detail no matter what." He turned to face Mary "You will too. The next time something like this happens I no we need to know immediately. No more secrets."

"Yes sir"

Olivia could by the look on Mary's face that she was starting to get tired. "Guy's I hate to cut this visit short but it looks like the patient is starting to get tired."

"Honey its ok they can stay as long as they want."

"Actually we do need to head out. We caught a case earlier. Warner should have the DNA ready for us." Fin said motioning to Munch to come on.

"Anything you need help with?" Olivia asked

Everyone laughed including Mary.

"That is why I will never see you as a stay at home wife." Mary said shaking her head "Go baby. Do what you do best."

Olivia looked from the guys to Mary and back again. "I am" She said as she took a seat by Mary "I told you I will be here till you leave. I mean it"

"I know you do but I can tell you are ready to climb the walls here. Go with the guys. Baby it doesn't make me think less of you or love you less. If anything it makes me love you more."

"No"

"Fin and Munch grab her and take her with you. Please."

"How about I take her out to dinner. I'm sure she's tired of hospital food or Stabler's hot dog vendor on fifth street." Cragen asked.

"Please captain. Just get her out of this room for a little while." Mary turned and faced Olivia "baby just for an hour. I'm ok. He can tell you about the case. I know you won't work it right now. But at least this way you will still be in the loop. I promise you I will be right here when you get back. I am not going anywhere."

"I will stay till you return to make sure." Stabler said with a grin on his face.

"Fine for an hour max."

"Thank you baby."

"Your welcome." Olivia leaned down and kissed Mary "I love you."

"I love you to."

Stabler walked over to the chair Olivia had been sitting in and sat down. "Have fun"

Olivia turned and faced Stabler "Stabler you better play nice."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I know you love her. I am going to play nice. I figured we would watch the game."

Olivia cut her eyes at him then turned to walk out the door.

Stabler waited for about ten minutes giving Cragen time to leave with Olivia before turning the TV off and facing Mary. "We need to talk"

"I know man. I broke a promise to you and I am so sorry. If it's any consolation it was tearing me up too. I love her Elliot I really do. I just thought she would be safer without me in the picture."

"I understand your line of thinking. Believe me. Trust me if Fin hadn't already put you in the hospital I probably would. For some reason that woman loves you still. Why is beyond me. No its not. You complete her. You are the calm she needs in a world of violence and hate. I hope you are taking this time to see how important she is."

"I don't need to be in the hospital to know she is important and amazing to add. She was making me promises that would slowly kill her if I let her keep them. Just to prove how much I mean to her and how much she loves me."

"I know I walked in on them."

"imagine her a stay at home wife."

"I hope you hide all your guns if you do. It will driver her so crazy she will probably shoot herself."

"Amen. Stabler you don't need to say anything else. I know man. A deal is a deal. I hurt her. When I'm out met you in the ring. I'm your personal punching bag."

"I would love to take you up on that but you see that would hurt her more. So no. But don't you ever pull that shit again. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir"

"Good. Now let's see who's winning. Yankees or Red socks." Stabler turned the TV back on and settled back to watch the game.

When Olivia returned Stabler was still watching the game and Mary was out cold.

"Thank you for sitting with her." Olivia said hugging him.

"Anytime and as you can see she is in one piece."

"Thank you for that too."

Stabler raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Always." He looked both women over one more time before letting himself out the door. Liv looked so happy and that was a welcome change that he wanted to see again.


	20. Chapter 20

The next few days Mary and Olivia went about their life as normal as possible with Mary being in the hospital. Each day that Casey stopped in Mary begged her to release her. Each day Casey told her no. Finally on day four Casey entered the room to check Mary as she did everyday.

"How is the patient today?" She knew that would make Mary mad

"Ready to leave. Now get some discharge papers together or I'm signing myself out AMA."

"Let me check you over and see how your doing." Casey told her as she began to check her wound. After about five minutes Casey looked at her and told her she was healing quite well.

"Good then give me discharge papers."

"No I think it might be best if you stay another day." Casey told her with a smile.

"Then bring me the paperwork to sign out AMA. I'm going home today with or without your approval."

"Relax Mary" Casey told her putting a hand on her arm "I am releasing you. I was just messing with you."

"Oh"

"I'll have the nurse bring the paperwork in." Casey turned to leave when she reached the door she turned to Mary and Olivia "Oh and ladies no extra curriculum for at least two weeks. You know what I'm talking about." Casey winked and ran out the door to miss the pillow being thrown at her.

"I'll be damned. I am not waiting another two weeks to get my hands on you." Mary said getting out of bed.

Olivia walked around to get her clothes out of the make shift closet and help her dress. "Baby I can't wait until you have your hands on me either but no need to set your recover back any either."

Mary pulled Olivia to her and kissed her deeply. "That's real good Mrs. Blackwood because I will have my way with you when we get home."

Olivia playfully slapped her on the chest "You will not. You heard the doctor."

"Oh yes I will"

"NO"

Mary leaned down and whispered into Olivia's ear "Baby I plan to make you scream and do things to you you only dreamed about."

Olivia could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. "Umm Baby what part of take it easy did you not understand. That is most certainly not taking it easy." She leaned on her toes and kissed Mary on the nose.

"You can ride" Mary said with her infamous grin she gave her the day she suggested using toys in the bedroom.

"No."

"But Olivia..."

Olivia put her hand over Mary's mouth and silenced her. "No. You heard Casey no extra activities. So there will be none."

"We'll see about" Mary told her with a determined look.

About twenty minutes later Casey returned with discharge papers and wound care instructions. After going over everything and making sure Olivia understood what needed to be done she had Mary sign the needed paperwork. "Now remember you can call me anytime day or night. Liv if your unsure about anything call ok. Don't worry if you feel you are being overprotective or a nuisance."

Olivia nodded in understanding. There was still a chance for infection so she needed to be extra careful.

Casey turned to face Mary "I said no extra activities but I know you. So please go easy and slow."

"I always do Casey or have you forgotten."

Casey turned blood red as the memories flooded her mind. "I umm..no I haven't forgotten for the record I'm just saying no out of the way positions or prolonged love making."

"I think we can accommodate that right Liv." Mary said turning to face a very red Olivia and wagged her eyebrows at her.

"I'll make sure Casey." Olivia told her as she smacked Mary.

"Good. The nurse will be in shortly to wheel you out." Casey told them as she walked to the door "Yes Mary you must go out in a wheel chair and leave the toys where they belong for two weeks. I know you remember." She informed her without turning around.

About forty minutes later Olivia turned into their driveway.

"You know that day I thought they had gotten to you I made the drive in like ten minutes" Mary told her looking around.

"Threes no way to do that baby"

"When the woman I love more than life it self is in trouble, or I think is in trouble. Yes there is. I think I must have kept this car maxed just about the whole way. Thank god I love sports car."

Wow Olivia thought to herself. Mary babied this car. There were times that Olivia thought she loved the car more than her. She knew that was wrong but the time she would spend washing, wax, maintain the maintence on the car was ridiculous. Olivia walked around the car and opened Mary's car door and held her hand out.

Mary couldn't help but laugh. "Talk about a role reversal." She said as she grabbed her hand and careful got out of the car.

"You haven't seen nothing yet."

"I can't wait." She whispered as she spun Olivia around and pinned her against the car. Forcefully taking her lips with her own.

Olivia could read right in to the kiss. It was pure desire and need. THere were few times when Mary got like this but when she did. Lord help her. She knew what type of love making was in store. She just hoped the agents who were getting an eye full wouldn't be able to hear her out here.

"Inside" was all Olivia could manage to whisper against Mary's crushing mouth. That one word sent an almost primal growl somewhere deep out of Mary's throat.

"I can't carry you this time baby" Mary whispered into her ear. "I will make it up to you"

"You better" Olivia whispered back into Mary's ear pushing her to the side and walking into the house.

What did I ever do to deserve a woman like this god" She asked before darting after her. She made sure the door was secure before taking the steps two at a time to get to Olivia.

She stopped dead in her tracks and her jaw hit the floor when she saw Olivia laying naked in the bed. God that woman was beautiful. Her body nicely toned and well built after years on the job. Mary undressed as quickly as she could and climbed on the bed next to Olivia. She was so nervous. She laughed to herself. She almost felt like a virgin and this was her first time.

Olivia broke the tension by leaning over and kissing her. She traced the out line of her lips and Mary granted her the permission she was asking. Olivia traced Mary's teeth and mouth with her tongue. It felt as if Olivia was trying to memorize everything. Within seconds their tongues was dancing with each others.

Mary had all she could stand and flipped Olivia over till she was on top of her. She wanted to wait and take it slow but she knew that would not be happening. Mary pulled back "Look at me Olivia" She instructed her.

Olivia opened her eyes and stared into Mary's blue eyes. Everything she wanted and needed to know was right there. She loved her and only her. She felt so bad about pulling the stunt she did. Most of all there was love, and desire. Olivia knew what Mary was asking without words. Mary wanted it quick and fast. SHe wanted to claim her. She needed to claim her. These times were few and far between. Mary always made sure she was careful, slow, and very attentive to her needs. Olivia pulled her to her answering her unspoken question with a kiss just as hard and demanding as Mary's was.

Mary moaned in understanding. Olivia was giving her this. She always did. Mary placed her hand between Olivia's legs and could feel how wet she was. That stopped her in her tracks. This woman deserved to be made loved to not fucked hard and fast like she was about to be.

Olivia knew what Mary was thinking without even looking at her. SHe knew she would do everything in her power to take it nice and slow for her. No matter how bad she wanted to just take her. Olivia felt tears forming in her eyes. Mary always put her first in and out of the bed. "Take me baby. Just like you want."

Mary groaned unable to talk trying desperately to hold on to every ounce of control she had. Which she just about lost with the words she heard.

Olivia knew what words would send her over the edge "Look at me Mary" She waited until their eyes were locked and she could see the struggle in her eyes "Fuck me fast and hard." The look in Mary's eyes along with the gentle discomfort between her legs as Mary quickly inserted two fingers in her made her gasp.

Mary groaned into Olivia's ear as she started pumping in and out of her. God she was so wet and tight. Olivia was meeting her thrust for thrust. "Liv" Mary almost screamed as Olivia clawed her back. "I'm not sure..."

"Harder baby" Olivia moaned "God please harder"

"yes baby" She breathed out huskily as she did as ordered. "Like that"

"Yes. mary I'm so close"

Thank god Mary said to herself. SHe always tried to make sure Olivia was satisfied before she was but today that might not happen. SHe was so doing everything she could to keep from climaxing wanting Olivia to get there first. "Open your eyes. Look at me"

Olivia opened her chocolate brown eyes and was met with blue eyes so filled with desire they were almost black.

"Come with me" Mary told her as she went even faster and harder. Curving her fingers at the end knowing that would send Olivia over the edge.

Olivia's body shook as spasm over took her body. She found herself holding Mary tight and screaming her name like never before. She felt Mary starting to lighten up "Don't stop baby. Please don't stop."

Mary curved her finger once more and shoved her fingers in as deep as she could get them. Pressing her palm against Olivia's clit and gently rubbing it. She could feel that Olivia was about to come again and before she could she saw stars herself. "I love you " was the only words out of her mouth before she started screaming Olivia's name.

Olivia grabbed her holding her close as she felt her body being shook with another orgasm. She held on to her for dear life as she screamed her name in ecstasy again and again.

Keeping her hand where it was Mary rolled off Olivia and laid next to her. "Take a deep breath and let me know when your ready?" Mary told her before gently kissing her.

Olivia tried her best to catch her breath. She took a few deep breaths and nodded at Mary.

Never taking her eyes of Olivia Mary gently removed her fingers. She stopped when she heard Olivia gasp.

Olivia simply nodded telling her it was ok to continue.

Mary waited for a second until she could feel Olivia relax. Once she had removed herself from Olivia she pulled her close to her. "I love you so much baby" placing a kiss on her head. "I will make this up to you"

Olivia sighed and relaxed into Mary's embrace. There was no doubt in her mind about that. "You know baby you are an incredible lover. I am fascinated how you always put me first ignoring your needs like you just did. Yes baby I know you held back for me. It can be just about you at times."

Mary laughed and pulled her even tighter against her "What type of woman would I be if I didn't make sure you were satisfied before me." This was a normal conversation between them after times like this. It felt so good to be having it.

"Such a selfish woman to put yourself first." Olivia answered laughing "I love you more than you will ever know. Our love making has always and will always be beyond words to describe it. Honey after all these years of marriage you can put yourself first. You have nothing to prove to me. Hell I think you proved everything the first time we made love."

"Go to keep up baby. Otherwise you might go and find someone new and better."

Olivia rolled over and faced Mary "Honey never. You are the one for me. You convinced me I could date and work. You were so patient with me in the beginning and proved that I could be married to the job and to you at the same time. Who else would do that?"

"Oh I know plenty of women who would love to give it a shot?"

Olivia leaned down and kissed Mary "They gonna have to dream aren't they"

"You better believe it" Mary's faced turned serious "I don't hurt you did I?"

"Mary Blackwood have you ever stopped to think that maybe I like it a little rough every now and then? Sometimes that's what I need?"

Mary's face turned blood red "Um no. Why didn't you say something?"

"I figured you would catch on. I love how gently slow and caring you are with me. It's like you are still scared I'm going to bolt on you. Past few weeks excluded. There are times I just want you, YOU, to have your way with me. Besides I know you. I will always get mine."

"Yes ma'am" Mary answered as she lifted Olivia to straddle her "How about right now."

"Your side?"

"Is fine. What isn't is my need for you." Mary smiled she could feel how wet Olivia became with those simple words.


	21. Chapter 21

Mary and Olivia spent the weekend getting reacquainted with each other. They only stopped when the need for food and rest overpowered them. Those breaks were short very short. Mary was starting to wake Olivia by trailing kisses down her body stopping right above Olivia's brown curls. She glanced up at Olivia and saw the grin spreading across her face.

"What are you waiting for?" A very sleepy but extremely aroused Olivia asked before grabbing Mary's head to guide her to where she wanted her.

Mary groaned before taking Olivia in her mouth. God she tasted good. She flicked her tongue over Olivia's clit.

Olivia bucked her hips up to Mary and tried to pull her even closer but Mary pulled away.

"Mmh no baby it will be nice and slow." Mary said before flicking her tongue over Olivia's clit again.

Olivia groaned at the sensations that Mary was making her feel. She had never had such an experienced lover before. One thing was for sure Mary had ruined her for other women. No one could even begin to compare to her. Olivia dug her fingers into Mary's shoulder when Mary entered her.

Mary felt the flood of wetness when she entered Olivia with two fingers. It amazed her at how turned on Olivia was. Mary wanted to take it slow but the way Olivia was moving and the noises coming from her made her lose all concentration.

"Baby yes. Don't stop I'm so close" Was all Mary needed to here to send her over the edge.

"Let go for me Liv." Mary whispered in Olivia's ear as she felt her walls tightening around her fingers.

Olivia's body shook to the core. She grabbed Mary and held her close as the spasm shook her again and again. When she could breath again she kissed Mary gently. "I love you."

"Me too Liv." She answered as she gathered Olivia in her arms and held her tight to her. "How am I ever going to live without you?" She asked herself as she began to doze off.

Mary awoke sometime later with a start. Something wasn't right. She reached for Olivia to pull her close but came up empty. That caused Mary to sit up quickly in bed. Where was Olivia? SHe reached in her nightstand and pulled her Glock .22 from it. Something wasn't right. She could feel it in every fiber of her being. Without bothering to put anything on she quietly stepped into the hall way. She stood still for a few seconds to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness and to listen. She heard a man's voice from the kitchen. It was one she didn't recognize and she couldn't make out what he was saying.

Mary crept down the stairs and stood outside the door to the kitchen she was going to listen for a few to make sure it wasn't one of the guys when she heard Olivia.

"You do know she is going to kill you right?"

That was all she needed to hear. She pushed the door opened and put the sight of the gun on the man sitting at the bar. "I promise you if you make one move they will be wiping your brain matter off my walls. Now slowly stand and back to the wall. Keep your hands where I can see them or I will kill you."

Olivia jumped in front of Mary. "For the love of god Mary put your gun away." It was then that Olivia realized she was naked "And get some clothes on."

"Olivia move."

"Mary this is Simon my half-brother. I promise you he may do a lot of questionable things but nothing to be killed for."

"Your brother? What the hell?"

"Go get some clothes on and come back down and join us for coffee."

Mary lowered her gun but never took her eyes off of Simon. "You have better be in that same position when I return."

"Go get dressed. I don't like my brother seeing what's mine." Olivia said as she spun her around and lightly smacked her on the butt.

Mary glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Olivia "You will pay for that later."

Once Mary was gone Olivia tuned to Simon. He was in the same position that Mary told him to stay in. She couldn't help but laugh. "Seriously Simon you can sit back down."

"Hell No Liv she wasn't kidding. Did you see that look? Oh, possievie and protective much."

"She was kidding Simon I promise. There was a threat made against both our lives recently" Olivia told him leaving out that they were still in danger "She still a little jumpy. That's all."

"If I get shot by her it's on you." Simon told her taking a seat again.

"You won't I promise."

"Can I ask you a question that may make you mad?"

"Sure why not."

"Is she abusive to you?"

"Oh my god. Are you serious?"

"Yeah. There was a look about her. Like she didn't like that you were down here talking to me. Almost like she was pissed you didn't get permission."

Olivia wanted to laugh so badly but the look in Simon's eyes stopped her. "Simon the one thing I have never had to worry about or would ever have to worry about is Mary hurting me. She probably was pissed. She woke up I was gone. Then she hears your voice. There's no telling what she heard or how much. She saw you as a threat. Not one that would take me away but one to hurt me."

"You sure."

"Yes I am."

"O.k. I will take your word…"

Mary dressed in her NYPD sweatpants and a black t shirt. SHe wanted to stand outside the kitchen door to listen in case Liv needed her. She didn't trust Simon. She had never met him but what she had heard he was an ass. With the glock secured in her waist band she ran back down the stairs to the kitchen. She pushed the door opened and noticed that Simon had moved back to the seat. "I thought I told you to stay against the wall." Mary growled at Simon as she advanced toward him.

"Mary Nicole Blackwood back off my brother NOW."

Mary spun on her heels and glared at Olivia she was furious "Why the hell am I going to kill him?"

"Kill him? What are you talking about?"

"Right before I came in I heard you say I was going to kill him. Why?" Mary asked positioning herself between Olivia and Simon pulling the gun from her waist band.

Olivia started laughing. "I wasn't talking about you killing him. His now soon to be ex-wife."

Mary looked from Simon to Olivia and back. She put her gun back in her waist band but still had her self positioned between the two.

"Where if she's gonna kill him what's to stop me?"

"Because he's my brother and if you kill him it will hurt me."

"Baby don't pull that card."

"Then relax and come stand by me. I'll let Simon explain why his soon to be ex-wife is going to kill him."

"Ok" Mary said as she went and stood by Olivia. She wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist and pulled her close to her. Looking over at Simon

"Hey man I get it. I'm not here to hurt Liv. You can relax."

Olivia pushed herself from Mary "I mean it Mary, Play nice he's all the family I have. Now is anyone hungry?"

Mary looked down at Olivia "I Am." her voice raw with desire.

Olivia looked up at Mary and smiled "I meant for food." Playfully slapping her wife.

"Oh in that case. Yes." Mary looked up at Simon "Would you like something to eat?"

Both ladies could tell Simon was unsure how to answer Mary's question. He kept looking from Mary to Olivia with a questioning look on his face.

"Simon. I was told to play nice. The one thing you can always count on is I will honor Olivia's requests. So would you like to have...?" Mary looked at her watch "some dinner with us."

"If I'm not intruding on anything please."

"You're welcomed to stay. Would you like a beer and we can go to my shop out back and talk."

"Mary?" Olivia said raising her eyebrows at her.

Mary leaned down and kissed Olivia "Baby I will behave. You want me to play nice and I will. But if you prefer we can stay right here."

"It's up to Simon."

"If you would rather talk in your shop we can or we can stay here."

"Tell you what Simon" Mary said going to the fridge grabbing two beers "Let's stay here so I can help with dinner."

"That's fine"

"So now why is your soon to be ex-wife going to kill you?"

Simon took a big gulp of his beer before answering "Umm I cheated on her."

Mary laughed "So did you really cheat or are you letting her think that?"

Simon looked confused

"Oh you didn't tell him?" Mary asked looking at Olivia.

"Tell me what?"

"We just recently got back together because I let her think I was cheating on her to keep her safe."

"From the threat on your lives recently?"

"Yeah. I had a moment of stupidity. So did you?"

"I had a big moment of stupidity. I really did cheat."

"Oh yeah, you're dead. Now let me ask you do you love your wife?"

"Yes Why?"

"Then why go looking else where?"

"It just happened."

"No an affair never just happens. Something leads to it. So what was it?"

"You sound like you are speaking from experience. According to my sister you are a saint."

"I wouldn't go that far. I am far from being a saint but when you find the right one you do change your ways. But I have been cheated on and have done the cheating. So I'll ask you again what was it?"

"I umm...I thought the grass was greener on the other side."

"Was it?""No not even close. It made me realize exactly how much I love Madison."

"Now you'll do anything to keep her but know if you tell her she will leave you."

"Right. So I'm guessing my only option is to keep it a secret."

"Only if you want her to leave for sure. Or you go to her tell her you was dumb as hell and will walk through fire to earn her trust back."

"Like that is going to work."

"It did with my first wife. Trust me women appreciate honesty."

"Wait. Mrs. When she's with someone she's with them and that's that cheated." Olivia asked placing her hands on her hips.

"Where do you think I learned to be so faithful? The day Sara found out and packed everything. She waited till I got home gave me my engagement ring back and walked out. Telling me to be happy with her."

"Wow."

"Don't be so shocked there's plenty in my past that you will walk out that door when you find out."

"I found out a lot while you were in a coma. But we will talk about that later. Right now help Simon."

"How did you win her back?" Simon asked taking Mary's attention off Olivia.

"Lot of hard work. We started dating all over again. She questioned my every move. If I was five minutes late I got grief. It went on for about eight months."

"What changed?"

"We were out a club and someone came up and approached me. I very politely informed her I was there with my girlfriend. There was no way on earth I was going to lose the one thing that meant the world to me. What I didn't know was she was testing me."

"She had the girl hit on you?"

"Yeah it was an old college friend I hadn't met. That's what turned everything around and changed me for life. After that experience I learned if you have found someone you want to be with then be with them. I swore I would never do that to Sara again. I had planned on growing old with her. I didn't know god had different plans."

"Dinner's ready" Olivia called out breaking the sudden tension in the room.

"Lets eat then you need to get home and save your marriage."

They ate dinner swapping light banter and teasing each other a little. Simon help clean up before announcing he was leaving. Mary walked him to the door.

"Last pointer. If she says get out go. Don't argue with her. There's a spare room you can stay in. If she says you can stay but on the couch."

"Basically she calls every shot."

"You got it and best of luck to you."

"Thank you" Simon said hugging Mary and Olivia.

Mary shut and locked the door and turned to Olivia. "Guess I have a lot of explaining to do?""You do but right now I want you to take me to bed and make love to me." Olivia said taking Mary's hand and leading her up the stairs to their bedroom.

"My pleasure Mrs. Blackwood." Mary said reaching out to pull Olivia to her.


	22. Chapter 22

Mary looked down and smiled at the brunette sleeping in her arms. She was absolutely beautiful when she slept. All the stress and worry of the day were gone from her face. She gently kissed the top of her head. Olivia stirred slightly and tightens her grip on Mary's waist. Mary laughed to herself. "Some things never change" She said to herself. She thought back to the first time Olivia had fallen asleep like this.

_Mary was working on a model in her office when someone started beating on the door. She had put everything down and headed for the stairs. "I'm coming "she shouted as the knocking continued. The knocking became harder and more persistent. When she reached the door she grabbed the handle and almost ripped it off the hinges jerking it open. She was set to rip the person at the door a new one for beating on the door the way they were. She stopped quickly when she saw Olivia. "Oh god" She said as she grabbed Olivia and pulled her to her._

_Olivia had gripped her tightly and kept it. Mary began to rub her hands over her back. She repeatly whispered "It's ok Olivia, What happened? Is Elliot ok?"_

_Olivia just tightened the grip she had on Mary more. Mary stood there and just held Olivia. After what seemed like hours Olivia lessened her grip on Mary and started to move out of her arms. _

_"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."_

_"It's ok Liv." Mary told her walking her to the living room "Want to tell me what happened?"_

_"Can I get a beer?"_

_"Sure." Mary stood and started walking toward the kitchen and stopped "Do you want an ice pack to?" _

_"It's not as bad as it looks, Mary." Olivia started to get defensive._

_"Calm down. I'm not questioning you. I just want to know if you need an ice pack. You can tell me when and if you want to?"_

_Olivia exhaled "yes please"_

_Mary opened the door to the kitchen and started to enter but stopped "Listen I want to know what happened. I need to know Olivia. You can take your time on telling me but I want you to tell me." Mary walked through the door letting it slam behind her. _

_Mary returned a few minutes later with the beer and ice pack. She handed them to Olivia and slid in behind him. "So you ready to tell me or do you need a few minutes?" Pulling her to her body._

_Olivia sighed and relaxed into Mary's arm. She took a long swig from the beer before speaking "We were serving a warrant to a suspected rapist. He bolted I ran after him. He turned a corner and hid. When I turned I thought I lost him so I started to head back. He jumped me from behind and started punching me. He flipped me over and" She started crying "He umm..."_

_Mary swallowed hard "Did he rape you?"_

_Olivia shook her head no "He umm... He ripped my shirt when I landed a few blows he used my face and chest as a punching bag. The next thing I know was he was ripped off me and I heard him screaming. Fin lifted me up and took me to an ambulance."_

_Mary made a silent note to thank fin and who she could only figure was Stabler. He was protective of her, Thank god. "Did Stabler kill him?"_

_Olivia looked at her "How did you know it was Stabler who got him?"_

_"He is very protective of you. You told me so."_

_"No he's not dead but that is because some officers stopped him."_

_They sat there and watched a movie together. When Mary saw Olivia trying to hide some yawns she stood and held her hand out to her. _

_Olivia looked up at her "What?"_

_"Come on you're yawing and tired let's go lay down." Mary saw the look in her eyes. "Do you really think I would try something?"_

_"What no. It's just that I don't want to go to sleep by myself tonight."_

_Mary laughed "Honey you are more than welcomed to share my bed you know that. I will be a gentle lady no matter what."_

_"You disrespecting me is the least of my worries. I was just afraid you would say no if I asked."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because there have been times in the past when I stayed over I really thought you were going to take me to your room but you don't. Instead you walked me to what you call my room. I thought that was going to happen again tonight."_

_"I do that because there are times I can tell you are unsure. I don't want to scare you off. You are always more than welcomed to join my bed." Mary flashed her famous smile at her "In any fashion."_

_"You are something else. Hold me tonight"_

"What are you thinking about?" A voice asked jolting Mary out of her daydream.

Mary smiled looking into those brown eyes she loved so much "The first time I got you in my bed."

"Does your mind ever leave the gutter?" Olivia asked laughing.

"For the record I was not thinking sexually. I was talking about the first time I held you like this."  
"The day I was attacked?"

"Yep"

"I didn't mean to scare you that day I just wanted to be somewhere safe."

"You are always safe with me."

"I know."

"Good. Are you awake enough to talk Olivia."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"My past you deserve to know exactly who I am. I have hid a lot from you. I should have told you long before we married and I am sorry I didn't. I just knew if you knew my past you would leave. At some point you had me falling for you and that wasn't something I wanted."

"I love you no matter what. You don't need to tell me anything. After all these years of marriage the only thing I need to know if you love me, respect me, and will never hurt me."

"You have all three but are entitled to so much more. I mean you share me..."

Olivia stopped her with a kiss. "I share you with a woman you loved before me that gave you a son. Who was taken from you. I will share you with both of them. Your love and devotion to them after all these years is just one of the things that made me fall for you. For the record I in no way feel neglected, unloved, or second fiddle because of it."

"I'm glad but I would like to share."

"Feel free Mary" Olivia said as she readjusted herself to look at Mary.

"As you know I was a cheater. I didn't care if I was with someone or not. If I saw someone I wanted I took them to bed. Screw who I was with. Sara changed all that. You heard the story earlier. After Sara was killed I turned back to my old ways. Only went to women when I had a sexually need I couldn't suppress. At no time was I gentle with these women in or out of the bed." Mary stopped and tried to read Olivia's face but couldn't. She could only pray that Olivia would stay when she finished. "I was umm abusive to women. If they said the wrong thing I would knock them across the room or make them pay in other ways. If I was hurting everyone else would be too. You know I buried myself in the bottle and tried to eat my gun a few times. I did at one time.." Mary looked away unable to look at Olivia as she continued her life story "I flew to..."

"You flew to Mexico. You had narrowed down where he was hiding. Maria had gotten wind and had someone waiting for you in Mexico. They put you on a plane and forced you to come back home. That was when you really lost it with Maria. A few months later you met me and that seemed to calm you down. Oh by the way everyone is thrilled you met me. They no longer worried about you hitting someone."

Mary took a few deep breaths and tried to stop the tears that were flowing from her eyes "You talked to Maria while I was out. I take it. You know she always told me to tell you everything."

"Why didn't you?"

"If you knew you would run. That was my reasoning."

"AM I out the door?"

"No but we are still talking. When we are done you might leave."

"Maybe I should if that's what you think." Olivia said starting to stand up.

Mary sat up and swung her legs over the bed. "Are you saying if I told you you wouldn't have left?"

"No Mary. I love you and that was your past. I would have asked you if you would do any of those to me. Would you ever strike me? Hurt me in the bedroom? Cheat on me? Now I know you wouldn't. I am not going to leave you for your past."

Mary wrapped her arms around Olivia and pulled her to her "Answer me this. How did I get so lucky to get a woman like you?"

"You convinced me to meet you for dinner and then to keep seeing you. You never asked or wanted me to change to make you happy. That's how."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I know its been a while since I updated this story. I hope you enjoy. The chapter is somewhat short. AS always thank you for reading and reviews are welcomed.**

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"Olivia, please get out of this house." Mary almost shouted

"You don't want me anymore?" Olivia shouted back

Mary laughed and pulled Olivia to her. "Want you anymore? Woman I wake up wanting to make love to you. I'm ready to make love to you again as soon as we are finished. Want you? You couldn't be more wrong."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Mary's neck and kissed her softly "Then why are you trying to push me out the door?"

"Because honey, you are driving me up a wall."

Olivia laughed

"I know you made promises to god when I was out that you would be at home more. That you would even quit your job. But let's face it. You are a lot a things but a stay at home person is not it."

"What if you need me?"

"Liv, Casey cleared me last week. The stitches have been out for two weeks. Go to work. Just work a half a day if it makes you feel better. But please get back on the job."

"Am I that bad?"

Mary smiled at her wife "YES."

"Ok I will go back to work."

"Thank you baby. I will have dinner ready for you when you come home ok."

"Ok. I will be home around three."

"I love you Olivia Benson Blackwood"

"I love you to." Olivia called over her shoulder as she walked out the door to go to work. She would never tell Mary but she was so thankful that she was going back to work.

Mary waited until she knew Olivia was gone before reaching for her phone and dialing a number she knew all to well. On the third ring it was answered.

"Special agent Maria Ramirez" Maria answered

"Hey Maria its me."

"Mary, how's it going? Something up? Do you need more agents?" Maria asked in one breath.

Mary laughed "Relax and take a breath. Nothings happened but I need a favor."

"Name it"

"I got Olivia to go back to work. Come over around noon tomorrow and move me to the safe house. Make sure Olivia maintains a protective detail."

"She's not coming with you?"

"She doesn't know."

"Mary Blackwood have you not learned anything." Maria scolded "You tell her and tell her now."

"No. She will go crazy in the safe house."

"Fine have it your way."

"Thanks Maria I will be ready by noon"

"No problem the agents will be there to get you." Maria said as she hung the phone up.

Maria hung the phone up and said a silent prayer. "Please forgive me Mary." before dialing Olivia Benson's number.

"Benson" Olivia answered sharply not looking at the caller id

"Benson its Ramirez"

"What happened" Olivia asked jumping out of her chair and grabbing her jacket. "I knew I should have stayed home."

"Calm down and stop running for the door." Maria responded in a commanding voice that stopped Olivia in her tracks. "Mary is fine she's about to do something really stupid."

"Ok. What?"

"She wants us to pick her up tomorrow at noon. Take her to the safe house."

"Yeah so. We both knew that was going to happen. The trial was pushed up to start next week."

Maria exhaled "Without you."

"WHAT?"

"She wants to go alone. Says its safer and better. I know she's wrong but she says you'll go crazy trapped in the safe house."

Olivia smile, even though Mary was doing something selfish she was still trying to put Olivia first. "Can you help me with something?"

"I can try."

"Get me to the safe house first."

"What?"

"Take me to the safe house first. I will leave for work like I'm suppose to. Stabler can meet me and take the car. You have the agents move me there first."

"You do know that while you're in the safe house you can have no contact, right?"

"I do. It will be ok. I will be with Mary."

"Ok my guys will meet you at nine two exits up. Theres a diner. Go and eat breakfast they will pick you up there."

"Deal and Maria thank you."

"Anytime." Maria said as she hung the phone up.

"Anything up?" Stabler asked when Olivia returned to her desk.

"Yeah I need you to meet me at the diner two exits up from my house in the morning and take the car."

"Why?" Elliot asked with concern in his voice

"I'm being moved to the safe house."

"The trial that's right I almost forgot."

"Yeah it was moved up. It starts next week"

"ok. How long?"

"I'm not sure."

"Call when you get released."

Olivia smiled at him "I will and by the way Mary doesn't know I'm going to be there. She's planning another stupid moment."

"It will shock you the amount of stupid stunts we will pull for the women we love." Stabler almost whispered.

Olivia laughed "Tell me about it"


	24. Chapter 24

Olivia stepped out of her mustang and looked around for Elliot. What she saw brought tears to her eyes. Every one she worked with at the 1-6 was leaning against Elliot's car. They all walked up to her slowly.

"You ready to go eat baby girl?" Fin asked her putting his arms around her shoulder and pulling her to him.

Olivia nodded yes because she couldn't trust her own voice at that point.

The five of them walked in and took a table at the rear of the diner. The ordered breakfast and began a round robin of conversations. Everyone was trying to keep it light. They could see how hard this was for her and were doing their best to make it as easy as possible for her.

They had finished breakfast and was on their third cup of coffee when the agents walked in. They all looked at the agents and each other. This was the moment they had been dreading.

Captain Cragen stood and walked to the agents. After a few words they pulled their ID's out and showed them to Cragen. Once he was confident that they were who they said they were he turned and nodded to everyone. Fin and Munch re holstered their weapons they had trained on the men under the table. Stabler scooted his chair back to where he was originally sitting.

The three men walked to Olivia.

"Mrs. Blackwood. I am agent Gambrel and this is agent Ballard. Maria Ramirez sent us to retrieve you and escort you to the safe house." The male agent said.

"My bags are in the car." Olivia told them standing. She looked at each of her co-workers.

They all knew this was not easy for her. She was giving up the one thing that meant the most to her. Getting justice for the women that were raped. The justice her mother was unable to receive.

"Thank you for breakfast." Olivia said with tears forming in her eyes. "I have no clue when I will be able to come back."

Cragen stepped forward "Relax, your job will be here when you come back."

"Thank you"

"Come on Liv" Elliot said putting his arm around her shoulders. "Lets get your bags in to their car and we brought you some presents."

"Guys you didn't have to."

"Oh yeah we did." Munch said laughing "For Mary's sake."

Fin took Olivia's Car keys and unlocked her trunk. Him and Munch switched her bags from the mustang to the SUV. Elliot walked to his car and lifted a suitcase from the trunk and walked back to Olivia.

"In here is about fifty cold case files. Some from different boroughs. There are also all the books written by Patricia Cornwell."

Olivia hugged him "Thank you" she whispered in his ear. She turned and hugged each guy whispering thank you in their ears before turning to the agents. "I am ready."

An hour later they pulled up outside a nice two story house. It had a fenced in back yard. The only thing Olivia didn't like was the off shade of yellow it was painted. She walked in and looked around. This was not a normal safe house at least not one she had seen before. They were usually scarcely furnished. The few items they were furnished with was very worn.

"Ma'am we have fully furnished the kitchen with the items on Mary's list. Although it is my understanding that Maria changed the list around and doubled what was on it. There is satellite and all premium channels. If you find that you need anything else let the agents that will be staying here with you know and we will get it for you. Do you have any questions?"

Olivia turned and looked at the agents. "Umm what bedroom will we be in?"

"There are three upstairs take your pick. The master is at the end of the hallway. It is the biggest bedroom." agent Ballard informed her.

"What about the agents?"

"There is a bedroom built on to the downstairs that is where we stay."

"Ok. Then I guess we will stay in the master bedroom."

"I will take your bags up there for you then Mrs. Blackwood" Agent Gambrel told her picking up the suitcases and starting to walk up the stairs.

"Thank you Gambrel but you can call me Olivia."

"Yes ma'am" He said as he reached the top of the stairs.

"Olivia, Mary will be here in about an hour and a half. Its my impression that she does not know you are here?"

"I see Maria filled you in?"

"In the briefing last night. We were given instructions not to let her know you were here."

"Thank you."

"Its our jobs. Would you like to go unpack we will let them know you are here so they can pick her up."

"Yes thank you." Olivia said as she started up the stairs

"Oh and Olivia "

"Yes" Olivia answered stopping to turn and face her

"There is an office area where you can wok on the files that the detective brought you to work on. It is the second door on your right"

"Thanks"

Olivia heard the door open downstairs as she was finishing setting the office up. She leaned back in the chair and listen to the agents give the same spill they had given her.

She knew they were getting close to the end of the speech so she snuck out of the office and quietly made her way to the bedroom. She knew Mary would want to unpack before doing anything. It would be the perfect time to surprise her.

Olivia leaned back on the bed and tried her best to calm herself. She could hear Mary getting closer. She prayed she wouldn't be too mad. She looked up when she heard the door opening.

Mary stopped in her tracks when she saw Olivia sitting on the bed. Her breath caught in her throat.

"What are you doing here?" She managed to choke out.

"Waiting for you."

"How did you know?" Mary asked coming to sit by Olivia.

"Maria called me. Said you were about to make another mistake again. She didn't want to see that happen. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would have to cut off all conversation and contact with everyone you knew for an indefinite amount of time. I didn't have the heart to ask or expect you to do that."

Olivia leaned forward and captured Mary's lips with hers. She kissed her slowly, passionately, and completely. She only broke contact when air became a necessity . "Mary listen to me and listen close. There is no place on earth I would rather be then here with you. I made a vow in sickness and in health. Did that with your recovery. In good times and in bad. We are doing that now."

"But your job?"

"Waiting for me and to make sure I don't drive you up a wall the guys packed about fifty cold cases for me to review and along with books to occupy me."

Mary pulled Olivia close to her "I am so glad you are here."


	25. Chapter 25

_**Olivia posted a new picture on the wall and looked around. Six victims total and none in the same area.**_

"_**There has to be a connection somewhere?" Olivia said out loud**_

"_**I'm sure there is beautiful but the more you stare at the files the more it will evade you." A voice said behind her.**_

_**Olivia turned slowly and looked at her wife. **_

"_**When did you get in?" She asked as she walked up to her and wrapped her arms around her neck.**_

"_**A few minutes ago. I've been standing at the door watching you work." Mary said as she pulled her closer to her and kissed her.**_

_**Olivia moaned and deepened the kiss. God how did she love this woman. She ran her fingers through Mary's hair which had become long since they had to move to the safe house. **_

"_**Come on dinner is down stairs waiting on us." Mary whispered as she broke the kiss "Let's eat and then I will help you figure out the connection of all the victims."**_

"_**Deal"**_

_**Over dinner they shared small talk. The trial was moving along smoothly. As long as there was no new injunctions it should be completed within the next two weeks. After the sentencing phase was complete they would be free to return to their life from before. They would retain a detail for at least another month to prevent a fall out from the cartel. **_

**The ideal alone was absolutely wonderful to Olivia. She hated being cooped up and not able to work. She would never tell Mary though because she knew Mary would fix it to where she could go back to work. Truth was as much as she wanted to be back at work she wanted to be with Mary even more. **

"**Mary lets watch a movie tonight." Olivia said as they entered their room.**

**Mary looked at her funny but simply nodded yes. She could tell by the look in Olivia's eyes there was something wrong. She knew part of it was being cooped up in the house. She could tell by the way Olivia worked on the files she wanted to be at work. She alson knew Olivia well enough to know that she was not about to say anything. If Mary asked she would deny it to. **

**They were almost finished with the movie when Olivia sat up and looked at Mary.**

**Mary took one look at her and turned the tv off.**

"**Do you want to go back?" Mary asked**

"**When you do."**

"**Then what is on your mind?"**

**Olivia looked down at her hands trying to find a way to word what she wanted to say.**

"**Olivia just say whats on your mind. Don't try to soften the blow on my account."**

"**I want to have a child with you." Olivia blurted out glancing at Mary.**

**Mary was shocked "You want to have a child with me?"**

**Olivia bit her lower lip "Yes"**

**Mary grinned from ear to ear. She had asked Olivia repeatedly for them to have children but Olivia refused. Always saying her genes were bad and her job to demanding. Mary quickly and skillfully rolled Olivia on her back and pinned her to the mattress. She made sure Olivia was looking her in the eyes before continuing.**

"**I would love to start a family with you woman. There is nothing I want more than to come home to a houseful of little Olivia's running around. What I want to know is why the change?"**

**Olivia ran her hands along Mary's side and smiled when she felt her shiver and saw her eyes darken. **

"**I love you. I know you want to have children."**

"**And I told you that I could live with out the children as long as you were by my side. Don't do this for me."**

"**I'm not Mary. I'm doing it for us. When you were in the hospital I started thinking. What seemed so trivial before wasn't so anymore. The more I thought about it the more I realized I would love to have a child with you."**

"**Are you sure?"**

"**AS sure as I was the day I said I do. Besides I can only imagine how spoiled I will become when I'm pregnant."**

"**You have no idea." Mary whispered as she began to gently kiss Olivia. "When would you like to try?"**

"**I figured when we are released from the safe house. If it continues to go on schedule I will be ovulating then and it will be our best chance."**

**Mary pulled back and looked at Olivia with questioning eyes.**

"**Yes I have spent time tracking my ovulation schedule."**

"**You are serious about this."**

"**I am." **

"**I love you." Mary whispered against Olivia's lips before kissing her.**

**Their kiss was interrupted by someone busting through the door. Mary rolled off her quickly and grabbed her weapon leveling it at the person who busted the door down.**

**It was Maria.**

"**Have you ever heard of knocking?" Mary said as she laid her weapon on the nightstand.**

"**I have now both of you get up and pack everything you can in five minutes. Olivia I have agents packing the office for you."**

"**What happened?" Olivia asked jumping off the bed and grabbing her suitcase.**

"**We heard on the grape vine that the cartel has discovered your hiding place. We are moving you in ten."**

**Mary's eyes went wide with fright and all the cover drained out of her face "Get Olivia out of here NOW."**

**Olivia was about to argue with Mary when she heard gunshots ring out from down stairs.**


	26. Chapter 26

Olivia and Mary was pushed into the closet by Maria.

"Stay here." She whispered as she pulled her gun from the holster. She was almost to the door when it swung open.

"Maria lets get them out of here." The agent that came through said quickly so that he could avoid being shot.

"Everyone fine?"

"Us yes. Them No." The agent told her.

"Ladies lets go." Maria told them "Mark help them through their stuff in their suitcase."

Mark nodded and began throwing arms full of clothes into the suitcases. What ever was on the hangers he just threw over his arm as Olivia and Mary zipped their suitcases closed.

"That's everything." They told him.

He motioned for them to follow him. They was rushed quickly and quietly out of the house. Maria was waiting in the car. Mark threw everything in the back of the SUV and slammed the door shut. Mary and Olivia slid in to the back seat.

"Everyone ready?" Maria asked as Mark slid into the passenger side. Mark nodded silently as he pulled his gun from the holster. Ready incase they met resistance on their way out.

Maria backed out slowly and flashed her lights twice at the waiting SUVs. Quickly a convoy of SUVs sped out of the drive way

"Keep your head down ladies." Maria instructed them as she maneuvered the car through traffic.

Olivia hugged onto Mary tightly. For the first time ever she was terrified. She was shocked. She had been shot at before. Hell she remember the time she was held hostage with a gun to her head. But the thought that she almost lost Mary shook her to her core.

Mary could sense that Olivia was scared. She hugged her to her body gently stroking her arm. She was silently trying to tell her everything was going to be ok. Even though she wasn't too sure herself.

About an hour later they pulled into another drive way. Maria pulled into the garage and closed it. A man who looked to be in his forties stepped out and opened the back door.

"The house has been secured and all scrambling devices are in place." He told her as he motioned for the two women in the back to follow him.

"Thank you Jerome." Maria said as her and Mark exited the car and started grabbing The belongings from the back.

The house was smaller than the last one but just as beautiful.

"Ladies your room is back her." Jerome told them as he led them to the back of the house.

"The room is sound proofed. The door has four inch reinforce steel. You will find a panel hidden to the right in the closet. If you open that panel you will find a button that leads you to a panic room."

Mary nodded as she walked over and made sure she knew where and how to access the panic room.

"In the panic room you will find food, water, and weapons with plenty of ammunition. It is also fire proof." He continued. "There is a secure land line and cell phone that will lead you straight to the DEA. Once you are connected instruct them that you would like to talk to Maria or Mark. When they answer simply say rebels. That will let them know that the house has been infiltrated. From here on out there will be only four agents who will know where you are at. Maria, Mark, myself and my partner Jared. He will be back shortly with our belongings. We are to the two agents that are permanently assigned as your protective detail. Do you ladies have any questions?"

Mary looked at Olivia and then back to the agent

"No sir. I believe you covered everything."

"Very well. Maria and Mark will be going to get groceries in a few. Please make sure you have a list of specific items you would like in the next twenty minutes. Also anything other than groceries that you may need needs to be written down also." Jerome turned to walk toward the door.

"Also anything that may have been left at the other house will be retrieved by our CSU unit and delivered to the station and given to Maria."

Both ladies nodded and mumbled their thanks as Jerome shut the door. Once Olivia was sure they were alone she collapsed into Mary's arms.

Mary held her and gently rubbed circles on Olivia's back until Olivia was able to compose herself

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. It was an extremely terrifying and emotionally draining time."

"How did they know where we were?" Olivia asked finally voicing the question that was running through both their minds.

"I don't know but I am going to find out. IF there is a rogue agent I will personally kill him for putting you in danger."

"Help me unpack?" Olivia asked trying to change the subject. She could feel the anger radiating off Mary.

"Let's get the list to Maria first. Then we will unpack and find out what was left at the other house."

About ten minutes they were handing their list to Maria when the side door opened. Three agents turned with weapons drawn. Mary pushed Olivia behind the couch and pulled her own weapon.

"Whoa its just me" A young white male stated dropping the bags in his hand and throwing his hand in the air.

"Jared" Maria simply stated as she secured her weapon and everyone followed in her gesture. Mary extended her hand and helped Olivia to her feet.

"Who the hell else would it be, Maria? We are the only four people with the access codes to the garage and house. Much less know where it is."

"As we have learned from the last house nothing is safe." Maria simply stated helping Jared with the bags and locking the door behind him.

"True did we all make it out ok?"

"Yes."

"Thank god"

"Mary and Olivia this is Jared. He will be staying here with Jerome as your personal detail. They will be taking twelve hour shifts. Anything you need let them know."

Mary and Olivia shook his hand.

"Ladies try to relax. I will be back shortly." Maria told them as she walked out the door "And yes Mary we will talk when I return." she called over her shoulder.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: This is the last chapter for This story. I Hope everyone enjoys and I gave it the closure it deserved.**

The remainder of the time spent in the safe house flew by. Olivia had gotten herself in a routine that she learned she loved. Mary would leave for court in the morning leaving Olivia to comb through old files. She had dinner cooked and on the table by the time Mary walked through the doors. Her nights was spent in Mary's arms. Something that she was starting to love more and more everyday.

By the third week she had started questioning why she had avoided going home when she did. Part of it was out of habit the rest was the fact that she was scared to truly give herself to someone. Yes she had married Mary and did love her with all her heart but she didn't trust her with it. To many times she had given herself and gotten burned. She didn't want that again. The time spent in the safe house showed her that she could give herself to Mary. All of herself.

Mary smiled at Olivia who was fast asleep on her chest. Olivia had changed since they had been in the safe house and not for the worse. It was almost like she had become domesticated. Not that that was a bad thing. At least for most it wasn't but with Olivia that was a death sentence. Olivia was a like a mustang. She was wild and free not meant to be caged.

Mary felt a pang of guilt. She was caging Olivia. She knew from the time they started dating till they got married not to close in on Olivia. Even though there was a small portion of her that had hope Olivia would change some when they married. Come home at a decent time. After a few years have a family together. None of which that had happened. In fact when any of those was mentioned it would lead to a fight.

"mmh GO to sleep" Olivia said as she snuggled closer onto Mary's chest.

"I'm sorry I have caged you." Mary said kidding the top of Olivia's head

Olivia's eyes flew open and she raised her head to look at Mary "Where did that come from? Why do you think you caged me?"

"I was sitting here thinking about how much you have changed since we came to the safe house."

"How does that equal to me being caged? I chose to come with you. You didn't force me."

"You're a mustang. Wild and free, Liv. I knew that when I married you and these past few weeks you have almost became domesticated."

Olivia started laughing "And this is a bad thing?"

"For you yes."

Olivia leaned up and gently kissed Mary on the lips pulling back before Mary could deepen the kiss. She smiled to herself when she heard Mary groan. It may be mean to be a tease but she loved knowing the affect she had on Mary.

"For your information I have enjoyed becoming domesticated and would like to continue this when we leave here next week."

"What?" Mary said shocked at what Olivia had just told her.

"Mary Blackwood I love you. I have since the moment I met you. You have never once asked me or tried to force me to change. Granted we have fought over my hours and children but that was my fault."

"No I should have never pushed you."

"Shut up and let me finish."

Mary nodded

"I have realized that I held myself back from you. Mainly out of habit because I didn't want to be burned again. This time I have spent with you in the safe house has changed my thoughts. When we get back my hours will change. I want to be home with you in time for dinner and I certainly want to fall asleep in your arms every night."

"Liv." Mary said choking back emotions.

Olivia smiled as tears started to form in her eyes. "Most importantly I want to renew our vows. Call it a fresh start."

Mary swore then if she didn't love Olivia before she did now. "Yes baby. It will be my pleasure. You have the rest of the week to start planning the wedding. I don't care how big or small it is as long as you are walking down the isle to me."

On Wednesday the jury had returned a verdict of guilt and Cortez was sentenced to death. They celebrated that night by having a few drinks but Olivia could tell that Mary was distant. She knew the fake smiles and the masked pain all to well in Mary's eyes. Olivia walked up behind Mary and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"When we get home I'm going to Fin's. Call me when you're ready for me to come home."

Mary tuned till she was facing Olivia. "No baby."

"You need time for them." Olivia said reaching up and kissing Mary.

"Baby I need…no I have to start giving you all of me."

Olivia placed a finger on Mary's lips to silence her "I have all of you. I always have. They were your family before me. You need to honor them."

"Have I told you how much I love you."

"No Mrs. Blackwood I don't think you have but you can show me." Olivia said with a smile forming on her lips.

"It will be your pleasure.""I know it will."

_Six Months Later_

Mary stood at the alter as nervous as she was the first time. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to look at her best man, Elliot Stabler.

"Relax Mary."

"I can't believe I'm so nervous again."

"Take a deep breath and breath. Just remember you hurt her you die."

"Understood." Mary said as the music started playing. Mary turned toward the door and her breath caught in her throat. Olivia looked absolutely beautiful. She wore an off cream colored dress. Her hair was pulled back into a French braid. Even though she wasn't showing yet Mary could swear that Olivia had the pregnancy glow.

Olivia looked up and smiled at Cragen letting him know that she was ready to walk down the isle. Olivia looked at Mary and was awestruck. She wore a simple black suit with a light blue shirt. The jacket seemed to define every muscle she had. Mary had gone and gotten a military type haircut. One that made Mary even more attractive than before.

The wedding was small and simple. They again chose traditional vows even though there was nothing traditional in their relationship. Everyone laughed when Stabler had to tap Mary on the shoulder to get her attention.

"I DO." Mary shouted causing more laughter.

Olivia repeated her vows with the same devotion and love as she did years before. If anything she had come to love Mary even more if that was possible. Mary had insisted that she began to learn about Sara and Jonathan. Then followed with them beginning artificial insemination. After the third try they discovered they were pregnant. Not wanting to jinx anything they have kept silent.

"Ladies and Gentlemen with the power in vested in me by the state of New York I now pronounce you wife and wife. Mary you may kiss the bide."

Mary pulled Olivia to her and growled.

"Are you growling at me?"

"I am. I want to rip your clothes off and have my way with you."

Olivia laughed and whispered in Mary's ear "I took two weeks of for the honeymoon. I'm all yours day and night."

"Smart woman" Mary said before she forcefully but gently taking Olivia's mouth with hers. It wasn't until the heard hollering and clapping did they separate.

They had a small but quick reception due to the fact their plane was leaving for Puerto Rico at three. At the reception they made the announcement that they were pregnant and the baby was due in seven months. Olivia followed that announcement with the fact that when she returned she would no longer be putting in the hours she had been.

Everyone offered congratulations and best wishes. After a few more toasts Mary and Olivia bid their farewell and left for JFK international. They were more than ready to start their new life together. One that included less time at work and more time with each other


End file.
